The Dizzy Disciple

Who you are is God's gift to you. Who you become is your gift to God. As a homeschool mom, I am both teaching and learning everyday. May I always be a disciple who is unafraid to have her light shine!

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Location: Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania, United States

I'm a Catholic homeschool mom with two daughters, one husband, and four cats. In addition to being the "teacher" at home, I teach weekly at our area learning center, as well as work at our local YMCA a few times a week. Occasionally I take to the stage and have some fun on my own!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

A mother's vigil...

"I am her mother and I will not let her know fear. I am her mother and I will comfort her tears….I will feed her…I will change her diapers…I will do what ever it takes to make her feel loved…I will do what no one BUT the mother can do."

As I sit up at the computer keeping the night-long vigil for a sick child asleep on the couch.....a vigil only a mother can keep....I am comforted by these words written by Minivan Mom as she remembers her youngest child in the intensive care unit as an infant. My "patient" was also a NICU baby due to my pre-eclampsia and early delivery. Although it was just a case of immature lungs and not being able to regulate body temperature for a day or two, I too clearly remember that panic that sets in when you realize "my baby should have been back by now". I spent my time in NIC watching her lying under a heat lamp...also hooked up to wires and bells (although compared to most she was in great shape...the nurses called her "the sleeping giant" because she was a whole 6 pounds!). My biggest regrets were that I ended up unable to nurse her; because her suckling reflex wasn't developed enough, and I couldn't hold her long enough to work with her because her temp. would drop, I had to be satisfied to "pump" for a couple of months instead. Tonight, I watch her finally sleeping after clutching a bucket for most of the day, and I give thanks for the wonders of who she is....and for the incredible privilege of being a MOM. Tomorrow I'll have bags under the eyes and will no doubt need extra caffeine and sugar to survive, but I wouldn't trade the vigil for anything in the world.

2 Comments:

Blogger Epiphany said...

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9:07 PM  
Blogger Epiphany said...

My greatest strength came with the thought, "Mary watched her only son die on the cross for our sins, so I must watch this and learn and hold vigil. My baby must know, despite anything that may happen, that she is loved."

BTW it comforts me to know that others felt the same during their own NICU experiances. It tells me, that I am not alone. :)

9:11 PM  

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