The Dizzy Disciple

Who you are is God's gift to you. Who you become is your gift to God. As a homeschool mom, I am both teaching and learning everyday. May I always be a disciple who is unafraid to have her light shine!

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Location: Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania, United States

I'm a Catholic homeschool mom with two daughters, one husband, and four cats. In addition to being the "teacher" at home, I teach weekly at our area learning center, as well as work at our local YMCA a few times a week. Occasionally I take to the stage and have some fun on my own!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Mourning Many Losses...

I've been very quiet this past week. The death of Terry Shiavo hit me hard. The death of our Holy Father hit me harder. As a convert, I owe my faith to the SEcond Vatican Council and the Church which he has led since. And tonight I sit here with yet another to comparison, a life so small. However, this little life was the one I was closest to of the three. I had to say goodbye to one of our cats today. And it hurts.

Friday night I noticed his breathing was heavy...over the weekend I kept vigil, thinking that perhaps he was experiencing congestive heart failure (our last cat died of that a few years back)...last night I was up until 2:30, sure it was his last. This morning we decided that we needed to take him to the vet...just in case it was something else. When the call came, I wasn't prepared to hear feline leukemia....I wasn't prepared to hear that we needed to bring the other cat in to be tested as well...I wasn't prepared to hear that there was nothing they could really do. Right after the call came, I had to go and teach for three hours...and then I went to the animal hospital to be with him as he died.

I wasn't prepared for the feeling of guilt as I told the vet that we had chosen to put him to sleep....she had explained that his lung capacity was so bad that he would stop eating and drinking and starve to death...or they could "tap" his chest (I envisioned maple trees) to drain it and maybe need to do that on a weekly basis. No....he didn't have a living will....but I really AM certain on this one that he didn't want to live like that. As I sat with him for awhile beforehand I kept thinking of poor Terri....and then got so scared to think that soon society will choose this "less painful" way and just give people lethal injections instead of starving them....and I cried. I think losing Mittens just made it easier to cry for all of them....Terri...Pope John Paul II...and my pain-in-the-neck kitty who I will miss dearly.

His sister is wandering around looking for him...and now I must prepare myself and the girls for possibly one more round of grief...St. Francis, I ask for your intercessions. Sorry this is so "down"'s my first real written expression of my grief, and so the healing has begun. I know many don't believe that pets go to heaven, but don't DISbelieve it...and right now I find great peace to think about my Mittens and the two new laps he has to curl up on tonight. Peace.


Blogger Epiphany said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this past week has been just awful...and when I read the part about your cat Mittens, I broke down into a fresh set of tears, because when I was ten, I had a cat named Mittens that my parents had to finally have put to sleep at the insistence of the vet, after a year of suffering with feline luekemia. It broke my heart...because I knew exactly what you were describing. Once again...I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I am sorry for your poor Mittens. A few years ago three of our cats were found Feline Leukima positive. We did research and found that one out of every three will die in a year of diagnosis. One will kick the disease completely.

One of our precious ones did die within the year but the other two are very heathly now three years later. I hope that your other kitty doesn't have this but if she does she could still live for many years.

Good Luck

6:24 PM  

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