The Dizzy Disciple

Another example of younger siblings emulating their older ones...

2006-10-02T23:13:00.000-04:00

Dad: It's clear that you're not real excited about going food shopping.

Authoress: That is clearly the understatment of the week.

Mom: I'm glad your sarcasm is still alive and well.

Storm Queen (interrupting from other room): Hey, what about ME? I'm good at
being sarcastic, TOO, ya know!!

Thank you, Lord, that they are not both old enough to have PMS at the same time!

Dormant no more...

2006-09-27T23:07:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been feeling a real desire to write and blog again; I guess the healing has progressed. I've also decided that I will keep this a homeschool blog and not talk about extended family at all; last year an inadvertant post resulted in a very hurtful email that I received, and since then I've had little motivation to share.

The girls and I are have started yet another year of homeschooling, and I seem to be reading more and more of John Holt's books....not ready to take that "total" plunge into unschooling, but with the oldest looking at high school next year we will definitely be letting her do the curriculum choosing more and more.

My youngest is still as strong willed as ever, but in between the battles she is full of joy and laughter. This year she has begun taking both French and Sign Language, and can now sing the ABC's in French while signing them....my little linguist! She has also just joined the children's choir at church and is very excited to learn that they will sing on Christmas Eve.

My oldest continues to love writing and theater, and next week our homeschool music theater class has auditions for "Through the Looking Glass". As both "mom" and "director", I've had a hard time separating the roles....we've talked about it quite a bit, and I think we're both as ready as we can be!

I will be updated my blogroll when I have time; I've spent so little time in the blogosphere until the past couple of months, and have lots of blogs to add and quite a few that I haven't visited in ages.....for now, I'm finally feeling awake again!

One of my "desert" times

2006-03-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

No, I didn't die. I'm just in one of my really dry spells and haven't had any inkling to either post or even read other blogs all too often. Has anyone else experienced these "dry" times? Just as a quick update, I hit my "one year" anniversary in blogville on March 1. Currently I'm in one of my high stress modes as I have my homeschool junior high class performing their first musical in two weeks. My house has been enveloped by props, costumes, and now backdrops. My poor family. They are being wonderful, though.

Shortly after THAT is over, I have my homeschool chorus performing THEIR first concert, and then my own concert in May as well....there's also those little things called portfolios and evaluations to throw in their just to keep me from being bored.

Oh well, I am alive....stressed, but alive. I'll hopefully return to more regular visits to Blogville by mid-May.

Wishing all a most blessed Christmas

2005-12-23T22:01:00.000-05:00

In case anyone still ventures a visit here now and then, I wish you all the most blessed Christmas and the happiest of New Years....I have been staying away from blogland this past month for several reasons, but still think of many of you with love and smiles. Perhaps in the New Year I will get back to a more regular schedule. Peace!

The annual birthday party is over...

2005-11-12T19:37:00.000-05:00

Today we had the annual birthday party for the Authoress & The Storm Queen, who will turn 12 & 7 next Wednesday...every year I have planned out a theme party of their choosing, allowing them each to invite three guests (because we have eight chairs!), and several hours later we are down to just the two overnight guests -- the Ape Husband has retired to the bedroom, where at some point he will manage to tune out the noise and go to sleep. Me? I have coffee, thank you!

Who would have thought that I'd end up with two daughters, born on the same day but five years apart (actually, five years and 23 minutes....had I listened to the labor nurses I might just have made it to the minute!). I thought that this might be the year that they wanted "separate" parties with their own friends, but they informed me that they LOVE having a combined party. Today's theme was a "music" party -- starting with various music games, followed by pizza, presents, cake, and goody bags. The highlight of the party seemed to be finding a little FM radio with mini ear plugs in each goody bag....all of a sudden they all stopped talking to each other and singing on their own as they found their favorite stations.

It occured to me as I sat with my coffee at the end of the party that I have so enjoyed doing their parties each year....whether it be the farm party with a barn cake complete with plastic animals, or the bowling party followed by similar cakes...I am grateful for kids who seem to like the simple parties with a few close friends (which is a good thing, since we'd never be able to afford the "big" party with a ton of kids!).

I am also amazed at how quickly the years are flying; who would have thought that it was almost 12 years ago when I first welcomed "Thomas" into the world as the doctor said "you have a girl!". I never would have known just how much I could love someone until both daughters came along. I am amazed at the individual quirks and personality traits that are developing in each of them....and I am blessed to be a mom.

NExt week is the date of the actual birthdays, but today was "party day". My downstairs is actually pretty clean (I really did battle with the "sloth monster" this past week), and I am tired but content. To all moms out there...take a moment to give thanks tonight.

The ABC's of my life as of late...

2005-11-08T23:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's midnight and my brain is on overdrive despite a tired body, so my creativity is touched with some punchiness -- or a loose grip on reality!

A -- Auditions went well for my homeschool theater group; the
Authoress was particularly happy to be cast in the role of Glinda,which is what she wanted.
B -- Birthday party preparations are well under way; with two
daughters born five years and 23 minutes apart, it's always been tradition to
celebrate on the same day. Not only do they not mind, but they said they wouldn't
want it any other way. The only thing to get in the way???.....
C -- CROUP! The Storm Queen has been hit the past few weeks with a
nagging viral condition that culminated in a trip to the emergency room the other
night with a bad case of croup. Hopefully by the weekend she will truly be on
the mend.
D -- Dieting blues...for some reason (gee, could it be the lack of
sleep??) this past month has been two steps backward on my forward drudge toward
healthier living. After working so hard to lose the first 35, I've managed to put
3-4 back on this month...and have no desire to work at it. I know this too shall
pass, but I hope to at least hold my own through the holidays.
E -- Exercise & Energy -- see "D"!
F -- Fatigue....well, after two weeks of sleeping more like a mom
with a newborn--most of which is on the living room recliner--the body fatigue is
easy to understand. NOW if I could just turn my brain off!!
G - Gas prices have come down! Yay!
H - Homeschooling is going SO well this year; the new curriculum I
switched to that truly focuses more on our faith has been such a blessing. The
Authoress and I are already discussing homeschooling for high school...I can't
imagine ever going back to public OR Catholic school at this point.
I - In-laws are two of my favorite people in the world!! I hear
stories of how some people have such horrid inlaws, and can only give thanks for
the wonderful sets that both Ape & I have been blessed with. This year we're
bringing the turkey dinner up to their house the night before and staying over to
celebrate the holiday with them....it will be a really nice day!
J - Jelly we made with the grapes is truly yummy! It's also a nice
reminder of the few "traditional" activities that My Ape Husband and I have done
since buying the house....we're a good team, and this is just one tiny arena
where it shows.
K - Kitchen is still one of my favorite rooms...and with the cold
weather coming, it brings throughts of homemade soups, stews, and other
good "winter" food to mind.
L - Love....still what holds this house and family together!!
M - Marriage -- again, what a blessing I have! I think right now
I'm MISSING my husband a lot in that sick children tend to bring out the "mom"
more than the "wife" role, but I am ever filled with gratitude for the man that I
call my spouse.
N - November is one of my favorite months...the geese flying over
head and the colors of autumn are abound right now, and make me praise our
Creator!
O - Overgrown maple tree is going to be cut back before it totally
consumes the house...and my Ape husband allowed me the privilege of calling a
tree expert in to do the job.
P - Piano job is not making me crazy yet! The ivories -- as in 88
of them -- are not getting much practice as of late. Luckily, the concert music
is not that difficult this semester. However, I am truly praying for discernment
about whether to give this job up...not so much due to stress over the music, but
in that my other job is now a couple of nights out each week, and I'm wondering
if it's not one more obstacle in fully embracing my vocation as a homemaker.
Q - Quilts REALLY need to get to the laundrymat soon!
R - Rabbit has been really bothering my allergies (hay) lately, and
I've finally addressed the possibility of it leaving permanently with the
Authoress. I can tell she's really growing up as she's thinking about it from a
point of view other than her own...I'm just praying that a good home can be
found -- and SOON!
S - SALE sign on our next door neighbor's house took me by surprise
today...although we really don't know any of our neighbors well as we're sort of
on the outside of the subdivision, these are the ones we knew best. Still, I
won't miss the yappy little dogs that bark as soon as we go out into our
backyard...:O)
T - Time to start praying for new neighbors, I guess...anyone out
there looking to move to PA??
U - Usually am finding time to start my day with prayer and
scripture again after some extra sleeping-in time was goofing up my schedule
(before my sick child did the same!) I understand just how important to my day
it is to take that time, and yet I'm too often distracted by too many "Martha"
tasks when I should be having "Mary" moments.
V - Very aware of my lack of ambition -- okay, major sloth-- in my
housekeeping as of late. I've been reading the remainder of a book I started a
while back and am realizing that it isn't so much being too busy...well, maybe
that TOO, but it's largely due to a lack of DESIRE to do the cleaning. SLoth,
pure and simple--the fact that I willingly CHOOSE to do something else, or to do
nothing at all, just speaks volumes to me. One of the quotes in the book says "I
don't want to lose my soul over a pile of dirty laundry"....and so I DID get my
bathroom clean yesterday. One of the big positives about the birthday party
being this weekend is that I'm cleaning...REALLY cleaning!! But this is one I
need to really pray and reflect on alot more -- but only when washing the dishes
or ironing or something else!
X - Making "X"-cellent progress on Christmas as of yet! Have
almost all of the buying done at this point....which is good, in that we're
almost out of money! :O)
Y - YMCA job is going SO well....I just love it, and am so glad
that I made the switch!!
Z - Zealous?? Well, I can't say that, I'm afraid...Zippy?? Noo,
that doesn't work at 12:30 AM either....hmmm.....maybe in a few minutes, if I'm
very lucky, I can use "ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz"!! Good night (or morning!)

October Potpourri

2005-10-26T00:23:00.000-04:00

I just checked a few of the blogs I read regularly, and for some reason it dawned on me to check my own.....and I realized that I hadn't blogged--aside from comments on a few other blogs--in a MONTH. So...just to let you know that I am indeed alive, here is the latest on October news:

--Girls finished their first quarter of homeschooling with mostly "A-" and a couple of "B+"....areas to work on included getting up a bit earlier to start the day's work before lunch!

--I continue to love me job at the Y...girls love it even more because it means that they can have "swimming" as their gym class twice a week.

--My homeschool musical theater class just had auditions for our spring production of OZ, and my daughter (The Authoress) was thrilled to be cast in the role of Glinda.

--My third grade REF class is going well; aside from a handful of boys being--well, BOYS--they are all interested and interesting.....not only that, I had one tell me that he liked this year MUCH more than last year already.

--My accompanist job is going okay, although the students in the group seem to think that attendance is optional alot of the time...I suspect that sometimes in the next week or so I'll have my semi-anual panic attack of "oh my Gosh-it's a month till the concert and I don't know my music!!!!!" (Just ask my Ape husband...he'll vouch for me!) I also threaten to quit about now, but then the first check arrives and I realize that this job tends to pay for Christmas and spring vacation weekend (or fix the whatever just broke down money)....so bring on the panic attack! (And every concert goes off just fine)

--I also realize around now that I'm possibly once again just a TAD overextended in activities...I talk to other homeschool moms who do nothing BUT homeschool...and if even THEY still have too many dust bunnies, then I know that I'm forever cursed with them at my house! (Ask my Ape husband...he'll vouch for that one, too!)

And for a couple of totally unrelated tidbits:

One night this month I was stopping to buy milk, and as I began to write out the check, I said to the cashier "It's the 18th, right?" "No...it's the 19th" was the reply. With pen in mid air, I looked up and said, "No, it CAN'T be the 19th...that's tomorrow" Looking at me as though I was a bit strange, the not-so-kind reply was "No...it's the 19th TODAY--for another hour or so". At this point, I managed to squelch the agonized cry from deep within. I realized that I had just screwed up and missed my best friend's birthday for probably the first time since I'd come to know and love her. She got a good laugh out of it, and I'm sure I was the talk in the employees break room for a few days. By the way, her gift is still sitting on my dryer ready to be mailed....I'll try to get it to you by Christmas (that's the 26th of December, right?)

And for a final laugh, I heard this one comment from a friend's teenage son, and I think it's the best excuse I ever heard as to why I'll never eat liver again!:

"I refuse to eat another living creature's poison filter!"

Another year of religious education begins...

2005-09-29T22:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday our parish religious education formation (REF) classes began for the younger grades (the older grades have got a week done already), and after leaving my position as one of the REF staff for the past five years, I found it incredibly refreshing to just be a catechist for a change. To be able to just spend time with the kids and get to know them all in a special way is something I'm looking forward to. I'm also blessed to have both of my godchildren in my class. Since both of my own are in sacrament prep. years--and also because I think they can benefit from a teacher OTHER than mom after all day--I chose 3rd grade because of my godchildren.

I'm sure you'll hear LOTS about the adventures of being a catechist during the year...but after being staff, it sure was nice to be able to just walk out and say goodbye to the new coordinator when I was done! I ask for your prayers for the year ahead; I've been entrusted with helping to nurture 21 little souls in their faith development, and I am confident that with God's grace I may make a difference without totally losing my own sanity! Mother Seton, pray for me!

Always the last to play...

2005-09-29T22:21:00.000-04:00

Well, after seeing this meme on so many of the blogs I read on a regular basis, I finally decided to play the game...I think there may only be a couple of people left to tag who haven't played already, but I'll try!

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

The actually 23rd post was a game also, so I chose the one right after it...after a week of being out every night for either work or a meeting at church (have one preparing for communion and one for confirmation), I have discovered that months later, life is much the same...

"So often I have the kids all day and then say hello and goodbye when Ape gets home to head off to either work, school, or church."

In further reflection, I think I really rather like the title of the actually 23rd post, as I could use a small bowl of it right now...."WHAT, NO MOCHA CHIP?!"

Okay, I know I can tag my loving Ape husband because he hasn't had time to be on the computer at all in the past couple of weeks.
I also have to tag my best buddy Magou in Maine. (Don't worry if you don't have 23 posts, either...just pick the last one!)

Following Hurricane Rita through the blogs

2005-09-23T14:26:00.000-04:00

I was just over at Minivan Mom's blog and reading about all the preparation they've continued with in preparing for Rita, and it hit me. The thing that drives me nuts about the weather reporters and the news is that it seems so STAGED....like the nut out holding on to the street pole so the wind won't knock him over....in a CAT 3-4 hurricane. Seems pretty stupid to me, but I guess it's about ratings. And then in reading the blogs of an online buddy from NW Houston, it all seems so REAL. These are people who are LIVING it...not trying to impress anyone, just trying to do all they can to keep their homes and loved ones safe.
They also gave some other Houston blogs in their post who will be updating as best they can. I plan on checking in with these folks on a regular basis to get a more genuine firsthand account....please keep them all in your prayers, along with the countless others who are getting ready to face Rita.

Happy First Day of Autumn

2005-09-22T22:45:00.000-04:00

I love the autumn....I love leaves ablaze with colors, the smells of apple pies and pumpkin bread, the sound of geese flying overhead...and yes, I'm one of those wierd people that look longingly at my trunk, knowing that SOON I'll be able to trade the summer clothes for sweatshirts and later on sweaters. For those who are warm weather people, this is the beginning of the "season of dread" as I've heard it called to day. For me, it's the beginning of my favorite--and yes, all too short--time of year. I've never been a summer person....I prefer snow and cold to the heat and humidity that summer brings. I remember the two years I lived in Houston; I arrived on June 28, and walking out of the airport it was like walking into a wall of hot humid air. I was never so glad to get home two years later to the colder climates and change of season.

Some people think of fall as the time when everything dies. I like to think of it as the time that we crawl into our cocoons to change into something better come spring. More time indoors brings more time to curl up with a good book or spend more time reflecting. This winter I hope to re-read the biography of Mother Seton, as well as either Augustine's Confessions or perhaps C.S. Lewis.
I always try to read one good spiritually rich book in the fall. It helps me to look at myself and see what parts need to "die to Christ" over the coming winter.

For now, I will enjoy the cool, crisp mornings and try to ignore the still warm afternoons....I know those days are numbered! My darling Ape husband has an additional reason to like this time of year...with the weather cooling off, it means that mowing season is almost over for another year!

A couple of anniversaries...

2005-09-21T22:40:00.000-04:00

I'm still trying to figure out how the month has almost gone by and I've posted only a couple of times...I sure hope that I can find a little more computer time in the coming weeks!! This month marked my 15th wedding anniversary to my Ape husband...and for that I am forever grateful. I am amazed that it has gone so quickly, and perhaps more amazed--with the state of our nation's current divorce trends--at how easy the marriage has been. Not that we haven't had a few bumps, but for the most part, it's been a joy to be his human bride. I guess that's how it works when you let God do the choosing...

I also need to extend a Happy Anniversary to a couple of best buddies this month...one a fellow blogger from Maine, and another who I've come to love here in Nazareth. (Have a happy driveway dinner! :O))...

Finally, in looking back through my archives, I realized that I just passed my six month anniversary in the blogosphere. March 1, 2005 was my first post, and I have to say that I've gotten to know some incredibly wonderful women (and a few men) in cyberspace. Even though we may never get a chance to meet face to face, I feel so much love for so many of you...whether it be Houston, or south Jersey, or Maine, or so many other places. I also feel honored to be part of such an incredible group of articulate and intelligent individuals!

The big move to new bedrooms...

2005-09-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

...or maybe a better title for the post might be "WHERE do we put all these books??" I came home from work to find that my Ape husband, along with the help of the Authoress and the Storm Queen had in fact moved the rest of the furniture to their new locations...quite a task! Right now they can find their beds and I have clean clothes in the laundry. The rest of the upstairs is just pile after pile of books...some are where they should be, and most will still need to be moved. I also have dust bunny retirement communities all over the place...it will be great for my allergies! Tomorrow we'll have to hit the dollar store for a couple of nightlights as the girls' old room had a dimmer switch, but the main part of it all is done.

I also went and turned in my work keys today--all but my actual office key, as I hadn't moved my stuff out yet. I did that tonight, and the car is full and THAT will have to be unloaded in the morning...but I am now "officially" done (aside from the many phone calls yet to come!). My new job is going really well...after three weeks I am now the senior person on my shift and will start closing the building next week. The guy who was supposed to work the later timeframe had been on suspension and didn't show the first night he was due back...needless to say, they'll be hiring someone new! Aside from the fact that the job is somewhat boring from time to time, I love it. The people are great, it's entirely kid friendly, and promises to help me get into shape to boot! I've been going to TOPS since January and have taken off about 30 pounds, but realized that for any real lasting effect and the remainder of the weight coming off, I really HAVE to work exercise into my lifestyle...maybe it will grow on me~ :O)

Off to bed....hopefully I can find my OWN clean clothes for morning!

Just call me "diva"

2005-08-31T14:37:00.000-04:00

Well, the Storm Queen has become famous...at least for about 15 seconds this morning!Our local country radio station sponsors a custom whereby young students call in and tape the weather forecast for the day, and then it's played throughout the morning show...they call them "Itty Bitty Weather Kitties". This morning I carried her out of bed at 6AM and by 6:35 she was on the phone making her tape....of course, of all days, SHE had to get the one with tornado watches in the forecast (spent the NEXT few minutes assuring her that the likelihood was SMALL). In the end, she did a great job, and has gotten many calls/emails today from various folks who heard her...
so for at least a SHORT while, I have a famous celebrity in the house!

Now you know how OLD I am!!

2005-08-29T22:11:00.000-04:00

Okay, she stole it "shamelessly" from elsewhere....I stole it from
MiniVan Mom

Sad to say I hear these songs on the OLDIES stations now! :O)
Thanks, Epiphany, for the trip down memory lane!

1. Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com
2. Type in your graduation year in the left hand search box
3. The top 100 songs will come up...bold your favorites, italize the ones that you
hated, and forget the rest...I know this is a variation on the actual directions,
but I can't figure out how to draw lines through the titles I don't like!! :O)

Top 100 Hits of 1977 / Top 100 Songs of 1977
1. Tonight's The Night, Rod Stewart
2. I Just Want To Be Your Everything, Andy Gibb
3. Best Of My Love, Emotions
4. Love Theme From "A Star Is Born", Barbra Streisand
5. Angel In Your Arms, Hot
6. I Like Dreamin', Kenny Nolan
7. Don't Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston
8. (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher And Higher, Rita Coolidge
9. Undercover Angel, Alan O'Day
10. Torn Between Two Lovers, Mary MacGregor
11. I'm Your Boogie Man, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
12. Dancing Queen, Abba
13. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing, Leo Sayer
14. Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffet
15. Telephone Line, Electric Light Orchestra
16. Whatcha Gonna Do?, Pablo Cruise
17. Do You Wanna Make Love, Peter McCann
18. Sir Duke, Stevie Wonder
19. Hotel California, Eagles
20. Got To Give It Up, Pt. 1, Marvin Gaye
21. Theme From "Rocky" (Gonna Fly Now), Bill Conti
22. Southern Nights, Glen Campbell
23. Rich Girl, Daryl Hall and John Oates
24. When I Need You, Leo Sayer
25. Hot Line, Sylvers
26. Car Wash, Rose Royce
27. You Don't Have To Be A Star, Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.
28. Fly Like An Eagle, Steve Miller Band
29. Don't Give Up On Us, David Soul
30. On And On, Stephen Bishop
31. Feels Like The First Time, Foreigner
32. Couldn't Get It Right, Climax Blues Band
33. Easy, Commodores
34. Right Time Of The Night, Jennifer Warnes
35. I've Got Love On My Mind, Natalie Cole
36. Blinded By The Light, Manfred Mann's Earth Band
37. Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
38. So In To You, Atlanta Rhythm Section
39. Dreams, Fleetwood Mac
40. Enjoy Yourself, Jacksons
41. Dazz, Brick
42. I'm In You, Peter Frampton
43. Lucille, Kenny Rogers
44. The Things We Do For Love, 10cc
45. Da Doo Ron Ron, Shaun Cassidy
46. Handy Man, James Taylor
47. Just A Song Before I Go, Crosby, Stills and Nash
48. You And Me, Alice Cooper
49. Slow Dancin', Johnny Rivers
50. Lonely Boy, Andrew Gold
51. I Wish, Stevie Wonder
52. Don't Stop, Fleetwood Mac
53. Barracuda, Heart
54. Strawberry Letter 23, Brothers Johnson
55. Night Moves, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
(Not as good as Old Time Rock & Roll, though...that's the BEST!!!)
56. You're My World, Helen Reddy
57. Heard It In A Love Song, Marshall Tucker Band
58. Carry On Wayward Son, Kansas
59. New Kid In Town, Eagles
60. My Heart Belongs To Me, Barbra Streisand
61. After The Lovin', Engelbert Humperdinck
62. Jet Airliner, Steve Miller Band
63. Stand Tall, Burton Cummings
64. Way Down, Elvis Presley
65. Weekend In New England, Barry Manilow
66. It Was Almost Like A Song, Ronnie Milsap
67. Smoke From A Distant Fire, Sanford Townsend Band
68. Cold As Ice, Foreigner
69. Ariel, Dean Friedman
70. Lost Without Your Love, Bread
71. Star Wars Theme-Cantina Band, Meco
72. Float On, Floaters
73. Jeans On, David Dundas
74. Lido Shuffle, Boz Scaggs
75. Keep It Comin' Love, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
76. You Made Me Believe In Magic, Bay City Rollers
77. Livin' Thing, Electric Light Orchestra
78. Give A Little Bit, Supertramp
79. That's Rock 'N' Roll, Shaun Cassidy
80. Love So Right, Bee Gees
81. The Rubberband Man, Spinners
82. I Never Cry, Alice Cooper
83. Nobody Does It Better, Carly Simon
84. High School Dance, Sylvers
85. Love's Grown Deep, Kenny Nolan
86. Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman), Joe Tex
87. I Wanna Get Next To You, Rose Royce
88. Somebody To Love, Queen
89. Muskrat Love, Captain and Tennille
90. Walk This Way, Aerosmith
91. Whispering-Cherchez La Femme-C'est Si Bon, Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band
92. Year Of The Cat, Al Stewart
93. Boogie Nights, Heatwave
94. Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac
95. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word, Elton John
96. Don't Worry Baby, B.J. Thomas
97. Knowing Me, Knowing You, Abba
98. How Much Love, Leo Sayer
99. Star Wars (Main Title), London Symphony Orchestra
100. Devil's Gun, C.J. and Co.

Please pray for New Orleans

2005-08-28T22:57:00.000-04:00

Just back from checking the various internet weather sites...my heart goes out to the thousands in New Orleans who have left their lives behind....and perhaps more to those who have not. Please keep them in your prayers; it appears as though they will really need every prayer that we can offer up for them.

Sketches of my Storm Queen..

2005-08-28T22:05:00.000-04:00

This past week I've had a few joyous memories of my little storm queen...the other day she walked into an upstairs bedroom where I had just rearranged furniture (we're giving them their own rooms this next weekend and I'm doing lots of preliminary work), and after looking at all of my labors she asked, "Mom, did you move all this by YOURSELF??" When I nodded, she gave me this wide-eyed look and exclaimed "Mom, you are AMAZING!!" Elastic-girl, eat your heart out...

Yesterday morning I taught her a song that I had planned on teaching to her homeschool music class of 1-2 graders...it comes out a Wee Sing Book, and it's along the same lines of the old "Deep & Wide" church song. The song is "Little Peter Rabbit has a Fly upon his Ear", and you sing it alot like BINGO, in that each verse you take out another word....well, all day long I heard her walking around just singing the last verse...."Little Peter ____ has a ____ upon his _____" in this cute little singsong voice. I may need to rethink this one!

Ten days later...

2005-08-27T22:53:00.000-04:00

Seems like it's been tough to find time to post the past week or so...but at the moment it's quiet and I'm not quite tired enough for bed, so I thought it was time to catch the readers up on life...hopefully I'll get more into my old regular routine and post more consistently!

Seems like the LAST sleepover of summer wasn't quite it, as the girls managed to finess one more "final-that's-it-summer's-really-over-and-we-start-back-to-schoolwork-on-Monday" party tonight, and for a change it was at the OTHER house! The storm queen went for the evening and I just picked her up and brought her home (last time she went for the "night" and I got the call at midnight)...she really enjoyed herself and there was no stress since we had set the time ahead. What WAS wonderful about the evening was to just have some quiet time with the Ape. We watched one of our favorites--"Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"--and still never tire of Sean Connery playing his dad. He really makes the movie.

Lots has happened since the last sleepover. I actually started a new job and will turn in my keys at the church job this week, and feel absolutely sure that it was the right move. I've worked for the past five years in our parish's religious education department...I was hired as an admistrative coordinator to try and "fix" a database that had been untouched in three years (in a parish of 3000 families, that's a whole lot of work!). I was also the "right hand" for the K-5 coordinator, and became great friends and also a big helper to the 6-8th grade coordinator. Last summer the former gave her notice, and I thought to myself, "ahh...I can do that, too". Well, by the end of Septemer I realized just how crazy I'd been, and told our pastor I'd be leaving. In the end, I stayed on JUST for 6-8 hours a week as the database manager. FOr the most part, that worked...but I was often frustrated as a homschool mom to have to bring the girls and their work to the office, trying to do "both" when I wasn't really able to focus on either. During the year I felt more and more like I wasn't giving them what they needed. I am so excited about this new job because it's just two evenings and every other weekend...and NO STRESS!! I'm working at our local YMCA at the front desk...of course, the girls are just excited because it means they can SWIM!

I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to tie up loose ends the best I can, and also prepare for teaching. The girls are ready to get back into a real routine...we have three weeks done over the summer, but now comes the real routine. I'm also going to be teaching four music and drama classes at our homeschool coop, and have been getting those curriculums set and materials in place. Right now I feel ready to go. I think it also helps that it's the end of summer, and fall is in the air. I LOVE this time of year! That chill in the air once the sun goes down, and the cool mornings with the promise of colors a-blazing within weeks.

This week I went with a friend and her son to the Philly Zoo with the girls; it was a GORGEOUS day, and so nice to just leave behind all the prep work and just laugh and talk and be silly and enjoy the kids being as real and spontaneous as they can be. And now, it really IS the last weekend before the school year begins in earnest. It's been a good summer....hotter & more humid than I'd EVER care to repeat, but I can handle it now because it's already down under 70 degrees tonight!

I've been reading a few of you regularly....most of you at least SOME of the time, and have even found a few new blogs to add to the roll in the next couple of weeks. I'm always scared to visit a new blog lately....I can't afford to love any more!! :O) Does anyone experience that? You find a new one that you really connect with, and it's like, "oh MAN...how will I EVER keep up???"

Oh well, I've given myself a new 11:00 curfew for the upcoming school year, and I see that I'm now 12 minutes past it, so I'd best say goodnight and get to bed...have to cantor at the 7:00 AM Mass in the morning, and it will come early! Gee..ten days later and I've written quite a little post...maybe my life isn't as dull as I thought it was! :O)

The last sleepover of summer...

2005-08-17T08:03:00.000-04:00

It's quiet right now...have to keep this short as it's time to start the pancakes, but last night the girls had their last sleepover of summer before school begins in earnest. The house was full of giggles, stories, laughter, late night "go to sleep" whispers, and finally peace of slumber around 1:30 or so. Today there will be four slightly tired girls who realize that those "lazy days of summer" are about gone.

Storm Queen just woke up, so I guess it's time for coffee and starting the day...sleepoevers mean chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, so I'd best get busy! It's not nice to keep four tired girls waiting too long or they'll get cranky~ :O)I'll post more later!

A public apology to the people I love most...

2005-08-12T18:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I received an email from a dear member of my family regarding a past blog I had posted....it was written out of love--I truly believe that--and it pointed out things that were true. Because I don't KNOW just what family members actually READ my blog (noone has ever indicated that you have even visited once), I felt a need to address this in a public fashion...

The blog in question, as I re-read it, was hurtful. My heart was pierced and broken to think that my words could have hurt those who I love more than any others on this earth, and with all my heart, I apologize. I understand St. Paul's warnings about the tongue perhaps a little clearer today. I think I could explain the emotions behind it so that you might understand better, but it doesn't undo the hurt, so I'll just say that I am sorry.

My family changed when I got married and had children of my own in that I moved away from where I had lived all my life...to a place that I love dearly and really do think of as home now. However, that in no way will ever negate our I view my extended family, and even moreso, my "roots". They are what made me who I am today, and I try to teach my children the strength and values found in family. Family is where you can say what you feel, and be loved unconditionally....even on bad days. Family is where we learn--sometimes painfully--how hurtful words can be, and why it's so important to choose them wisely. I failed that day, and I so now I ask forgiveness. I sense that I will get it, because that's the kind of family I have. That's where I learned it. That's a part of me that will NEVER be diminished.

There are times during the year when it is SO HARD being so far away...not just the big family events like reunions, weddings, and funerals, but the everyday times. The ability to drop by and have coffee, or go to a niece's birthday party...and that's one of the tradeoffs for loving a man whose life was elsewhere. That's why my church community here is so vital, because they are my "closeby" family. They hold me accountable and teach me the same values. That's one of the reasons we love it so much here, because we at least have a substitute for those countless times that we can't be where we'd like to be. I occassionally envy my relatives who either live close enough to spend every weekend together, or can make many more trips a year back to the old homestead....contrary to what that one blog post said, I treasure every time I'm able to make it back there, and I will miss those visits more than I can say in years to come. Just as I dearly miss those few visits here when my dad was still alive and family was able to come to me.

If anyone read that blog and doubts for a moment how I feel about family and my visits to spend time there, I hope that this has helped to heal some of those hurts. I have cried many tears in the past 24 hours, and continue even now, and pray that the healing can continue. It's also nice to know that some of you DO come to this blog, as I really didn't think that anyone did. There I times that I feel very isolated from all of you, and I know that my own life choices are partly the cause--but in looking back where God has led me over the years, I would not change any of those big life decisions for anything. My faith tells me that I am where He wants me to be, and I am serving Him and touching lives in the way that He has planned. Is it easy? No...I know that faith without carrying my cross means nothing, and as crosses go, the one I carry is light. I give thanks everyday for the people that He has put in my life.....and I know that I am blessed to have the family that I have.

I again apologize for any hurtful things that I said...and I pray forgiveness. Peace.

Remembering Dad...

2005-08-11T06:44:00.000-04:00

Five years ago today came the call that made an ordinary day change in an instant. My dad had had a heart attack, and within a half hour I learned that he had died...then came a LONG ride in the rain to Massachusetts and a week of planning and reminiscing about an incredible life.

My dad. Only a few of my readers actually had the privilege of knowing him. He was just an ordinary quiet family man...who taught me volumes about life, love, family, priorities, and God. Here are a few lessons I attribute to his wisdom --

1. Life really comes down to your family and what you believe in.

2. Material possessions and fancy vacations are no better than life's simple
pleasures and going out for ice cream.

3. Integrity is a virtue that is worth stiving to develop and keep.

4. Laughter really IS the best medicine.

5. Share your gifts...with whoever might need them. (my Dad never went
ANYwhere without his tool box in hand!)

6. A fancy college degree is nice, but you can educate yourself with lots
of good books and a strong work ethic (my dad never went past 8th grade,
but held a great job and was respected by all)

7. Music is an important part of life (for him, especially marches by the
Boston Pops!)

8. Patriotism is never forgetting that men founded this nation UNDER GOD, and
have since died to protect those freedoms...one of which was to VOTE.

9. When life gets stressful, get in a boat! (my dad at some point in his life
owned a rowboat, motorboat, canoe, kayak, and sailboat). In addition, time
spent by the ocean and the water can only make you appreciate our Creator.

10. Life is short and can end at any moment...never be afraid to tell someone
that you love them...it may be your only chance.

Fortunately, there were no words left unspoken between my dad & I. He lived life to the fullest until the moment he left us, and his memory five years later still fills my heart with such love and pride. I am so blessed to have had a dad who taught me what unconditional love was all about. Today, I just wanted to let everyone else know what a great man he was. Love you Dad....see you someday!

Probably NOT a "new" thing!!

2005-08-07T10:15:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Mom Nancy (who I will add to my blogroll as soon as my Ape husband can help me!) for this quick IQ test. I'm not sure just what it says about my day to day living.....seems like I have a great brain but maybe I don't use it as much as I could??? :O)

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

And just what ARE "show towels"?

2005-08-07T00:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, here's a good poll question...probably not one that's popped up on the blogosphere anytime lately. How many of you A) KNOW what "show towels" are, and B)how many of you HAVE them?? At a recent luncheon with friends from work, here's how the conversation went:

F: I was SO mad at my sister this week; she came over and got my show towels dirty!

Me: (looking perplexed) Show towels? What the heck are "show" towels?

F: (looking equally like I was a total moron) You don't know what SHOW towels
are???

Me: (feeling like I'm making an E.F.Hutton commercial as all eyes are now on me
and there's NO sound from anyone at the table!!)Ahh....no. Care to enlighten me?

F: SHOW towels are the pretty little towels you keep in your bathroom that are
just for decoration.

Me: (looking once again totally perplexed) Then...what do you use to dry your
hands??

F: You REALLY don't know about this, do you??

J: At my house I keep a basket of paper towelettes for the guests to use.

Me: Yeah, I remember those...I thought it was just so you didn't have to do
the laundry so much!

F: You really DON'T know what show towels are, do you?

Me: Ah...at MY house, they are the often mismatched towels that sit on the top of
the toilet...and they are USED. OFTEN. To dry your hands.

F: You better not visit me anytime soon.

Me; I'm coming tomorrow...and I'm going to post a little note in your
bathroom saying..."for decorative purposes only....do not use"

F; You would, too, wouldn't you?

I suspect that I'll be getting show towels for Christmas. Actually, when I was putting towels and sheets away this week I found two little towels I got for my wedding back almost 15 years ago...they were pretty and pick and had little flowers embroidered on them....sort of frayed around the edges now....GASP!!!! I DO have show towels!!!! I just didn't know that I wasn't supposed to USE them!! I've since polled any friends I've met, and I realize that there are two types of homemakers in the world...those WITH show towels, and those without. My favorite response was from my daughter's best friend...I asked her, "do you have show towels at your house?" Her reply? "I live on a FARM." Love that girl! Okay, which are you?

Back from the Blog "Abyss"!!!!

2005-08-06T23:45:00.000-04:00

I'd LOVE to think that there are just so MANY of you out there who think I've died or moved away to northern Idaho....but what humility I DO have tells me that my absence may not have been all that noticed!! Sigh....what's the old line? "I'm a legend in my own mind..."

After WAY too long a stay in the computer hospital, it's now home and hopefully "all better" for quite some time to come. One day it was running okay, and the next it was just not going on. Or worse yet, it would go on, and then just shut down shortly thereafter. I've realized that despite the little amount of time I seem to find to blog and read blogs these days, those few and precious moments are SOOOOOO important when I don't have them!! I've got some cute quips and stories in my absence, but right now I'll post this just to let you all know "I'm Ba-ack", and then it's off to (let's see if I remember how to do a link!!)
The Big Yellow House ,
Minivan Mom ,
Martha, Martha , and up to
Maine to start...I'll catch up soon!

Ways to tell that your child is feeling better....

2005-07-15T23:37:00.000-04:00

1. The first thing she does in the morning is to throw her hairbrush across the room
at her sister because she's "not waking up fast enough".

2. After several days of not eating at all, she is now consumed an apple ("peeled,
cored, and sliced like a daisy on a blue china plate"), 2 pieces of string
cheese, one waffle with butter, and a bowl of chips....she is still hungry, and
it is only 10:30 in the morning (I wish I could eat like that!)

3. When I say "no" to any request (which in her mind is more of a command as she
is "princess-high-and-mighty-boss-of-the-world") she will carry on and tantrum
for at least ten minutes and announce that I am a "MEAN" mommy and that she
wishes she had a different family.

4. Later in the day, this is our conversation in the car...
Mom: (while listening to "God bless the broken road" by Rascal Flatts)...I like
this song...it's a really good song.

Storm Queen: No, it's not...it's a MEAN song.

Mom: A mean song?

SQ: Yeah...it comes into my head without even knocking and then it just
STAYS there all day and doesn't leave!!

Mom: Well....you could sing it to me...I LIKE the song...

SQ: Moooommm! I don't even know the WORDS!! It just comes in and doesn't even bring the words...so I have to HUM all day! It drives me crazy!!

....to which mom continues driving, while thinking, "wanna know what drives
ME crazy?" Seriously, though, despite the storm queen's name, I'll
take her in her strong willed "fight you on anything" mode than have her
as sick as she was. So thank you God...NOW can you teach her the WORDS
to the song?!

The Mommy Monster Lives

2005-07-07T22:35:00.000-04:00

Just ask my little storm queen....she'll tell you. This morning I finally followed my "mom's intuition" and called the doctor. After describing the symptoms, they told me to bring her right in....okay, maybe she IS sick! Called my poor ape husband who had JUST gotten to work after driving the authoress to drama camp, and told him he had to come home. A visit to the doctor confirmed allergies and a sinus infection, and $85 dollars later we are back home with medicine that we now have to get INTO the storm queen. Now, I've talked about my little strong willed daughter...who luckily has only needed an antibiotic one other time in her life. Lucky for ME, that is. Trying to get this kid to take medicine is like a lovely alternative to a root canal....maybe. After two hours of trying to be "nice" about it, I gave up in frustration and made her some dinner, and then the "mommy monster" had to come to life. I still only got a half a dose in her, but at least she took it....calling me all kinds of mean names (for a 6 year old), making me feel like the world's biggest failure of a mom because my children don't willingly open their mouths and take their medicine like Lucy did the "Vitaminiveggie...whatever it was!" and then say "hmmmm....so GOOD, mommy!" No, I got the gag and almost throw up followed by a grab for more ice chips to take away the next "sip" of agony. Oh joy, only 19 doses to go! After it's over, the real mommy comes back and she gets all apologetic and says "I'm such a coward"....to which I bite my lip from saying "yes, dear, you are" and just tell her I love her. Did I mention I still have 19 doses to go????? Please pray for me. There must be a saint who died a matyr by having poison forced down his throat....that would be a good one to pray to....or maybe just St. Jude...

Am I overly neurotic?

2005-07-07T05:10:00.000-04:00

Do other mothers out there get overly neurotic when their children are sick? Is it just the lack of sleep that makes our brain cells start to fantasize these horrible thoughts, or is my inner "mother's intuition" trying to tell me something that I'm missing? The storm queen has been sick again, and last night the wonderful ape husband made me go up for a "nap" at 8PM since I'd gotten about 3 hours of sleep in the previous two nights combined....I told him I was sure I wouldn't sleep long, but came down at 3:30 feeling pretty refreshed, actually. He's gone up for a few hours of real sleep. (He actually sleeps some when he's on "vigil" duty...but then, he's not neurotic!)

The second night of no sleep I was up all night--first reading through the baby health books on every sickness that had her sympptoms, and then later on the computer doing research on all the rare diseases that she must have...seriously, am I the only one that gets this nutty? I know I tend to have a tendency to worry (just a wee bit!) about most things, but this one lately has been bugging me more than usual. I guess any of you moms with lots of kids would have a better idea of whether I'm nuts.

I remember my oldest was sick alot between the ages of 1-2 because she was in daycare. In fact, she was on antibiotics more than she was off for that year...her weakness was ear infections. My storm queen, on the other hand, has been home with mom all her life, and so I figured her immunity system would get bombarded more around ages 4-5 when she started getting out more. For quite awhile now she has had these periodic episodes, and I don't know if it's just her "weakness" area, or if there is a pattern that I should start taking seriously. Every 2-3 months, she is sick for a couple of days....almost always nausea/vomiting and sometimes a touch of sore throat. There is always a low grade fever, and occassionally a higher one. I wondered if allergies was the culprit, or if she's just picking up germs here and there in the course of life that she's not had to fight yet.

This current episode started on July 4th...although her spirits were good early in the day, I noticed she didn't eat. By dinner time she was holding a bucket, and the next day/evening was worse. She's now gone over 24 hours without vomiting, but still feels some nausea. She definitely has a low grade fever, and is REALLY weak and tired.....slept almost all day yesterday. Yesterday she managed to keep down a half a sandwich, and she's been eating TONS of ice chips so I don't have to worry about dehydration. It seems to just be a stomach bug....but then, is it normal for a kid to get this every 2-3 months? (I was actually able to go back in my blog and see that she was sick the end of April...blogs are great for that!)

This morning I feel better after a full night's sleep...I guess if she is still down and out today I will think about a doctor's appt. tomorrow (They have no hours on Thu)....but then, what do you say? "I think my daughter has a rare disease and I want you to find it and fix it?" I'm not sure I want to pay my co-pay just to get that "you're crazy, lady" look from the doctor. At any rate, she is sleeping once again...my husband tells me that her body is just doing it's normal thing to heal, but he's not neurotic like me.

He will most likely have to do taxi duty with my authoress, who is attending a three week drama camp...she is having a blast, and yesterday came home and went up to practice for another hour or two. They are putting on the show "Cinderella", and by the end of the week she will know who is doing what part, so of course she is practicing like crazy to get SOMEthing (she doesn't want a BIG part...just a little one!)

I've been trying to do a little work from home, but not having lots of luck. Hopefully today I'll have a few more brain neurons firing than the past two days, and won't need to "just sit" and read/talk/sing/hum/watch videos all day.

Time to get a refill on the coffee, and then go wake up the ape husband....days like this, I'm not sure if I should be praying to St. Anne for a mom's sanity, or St. Dymphna for a mom's neurosis!

I plan....God chuckles

2005-07-06T08:56:00.000-04:00

Well, the first week of school is half over, and already we're behind! :O) We started out great on the 4th; had planned a simple day and it covered music/gym/civics, as we marched in our town's parade of the first ever "Kazoo band", to which the town has applied to Guiness Book of world records...the day also included a nice program in our town circle with the band, chorus, and a marine from Iraq speaking. It was so nice to hear the POSITIVE things that are happening over there firsthand...if the media would cover THAT stuff more often, what a difference it would make in the country "public opinion polls".

Dinner time, day one....my little storm queen comes down with a stomach bug...I send the ape husband and my oldest (who I have nicknamed the "Authoress") to the fireworks, and I stay home to do bucket brigade. Two days later, and hopefully things are quieting down JUST a bit. My oldest started a three week drama day camp yesterday, and seems to love it. Aside from practically NO sleep, and the storm queen has done NO work yet, the school year is off to a great start! My authoress has done the few extras required so far, and seems to be glad to be back to a "structured" day. I'm hoping that the storm queen might feel up to doing a little bit later on today, but we'll most likely just start her off next week.

Add to all this, my ape husband's car has pretty much died, so I'll be doing lots of driving in the next few weeks (during drama camp I think I figured 80 miles a day in the end!)...when the fall comes, we'll plan on 2-3 days of driving him in to work, and then staying home the other 2-3 days. I'm actually looking forward to HAVING to stay home...I think we tend to overschedule outselves sometimes!

Oh well, my little storm queen has now gone 9 hours without a bucket, and has slept most of that time to catch up...mommy will drink too much caffeine today and kiss those two nights of sleep goodbye (I long ago learned that moms NEVER catch up on that lost sleep!). Just as well the school year will start late...I'm not sure the teacher is all that with it today!

Meatball Meditations

2005-06-22T21:53:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spent the day in the kitchen, first kneading and braiding a Swedish cardamon bread, and then rolling out 5 1/2 pounds of Swedish meatballs....for two long hours I sat there rolling, and it gave me lots of time to reflect. Shortly after beginning, my youngest arrived, looked in the bowl, and declared, "....awwh, Mom, that's dis-GUST-ing!!!" I have to admit that by looks alone, she was right. Meatball mixture is NOT a pretty sight, nor does it make your hands all that attractive to look at. I calmly told her, "well, right NOW it looks gross, but once I roll them all out and bake them, they turn out quite delicious!" Granted, this is a girl who lives on assorted pasta shapes and assorted french fry shapes, so I don't think she'll be sampling them to agree or disagree.

However, I began to think of my faith in terms of being a meatball. When I first allowed God's grace to change me, I must have looked an awful lot like that meatball on the outside.....all kinds of raw junk thrown together in a big mess. AFter years of living the "pagan" lifestyle, that's what my spiritual life was...a big mess. One that I thought was "quite dis-GUST-ing" as she put it. Now all by itself, a meatball mixture is going to stay that way...and so would my faith life. In order to change, both needed to be molded. Those meatballs were lovingly rolled, and occassionally I had to add a bit more, or take a bit away, or do the sphere over again, until I was satisfied that it would hold together and turn out the right way.

I, too, am like that meatball....without allowing God to take me in His hand and mold me, I would have been nothing. I think He had to roll me for a LONG time before He was ready to put me through the next step....the fire. Again, without being heated from within to just the right temperature, a meatball can be downright deadly. I, too, needed the grace of the Holy Spirit and the fire of Christ's love to get rid of all the deadly stuff inside.

I guess that's where the comparison stops though. The meatballs are now in the freezer ready to go to MA tomorrow for a big family reunion this weekend (our 49th annual reunion!), and by Sunday night they'll be gone. Me? I hope to think I'll be around a little longer than that! I also realize that I will be a meatball over and over again in life, as God continues to mold me and shape me into the person He means for me to be. The saints are meatballs that are done. Me? I still have a lot of rolling needed, I think.

I'll be out of the blogosphere until late Mon or Tuesday...my ape husband will be staying home due to some crazy work schedules with fiscal years, so I hope that he is able to get online and see what's happening in the world. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

By the way, I just did a reflection on MEATBALLS....maybe I should worry...:O)

Happy Father's Day

2005-06-19T05:17:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this morning, and spent some time remembering my dad...he's been gone almost five years now, and there are still those moments I miss him terribly, but most of the time I have just warm memories. Sometimes I'm sad when I think of what he missed out on in not being a church goer...that call to community is part of our faith, and I think he would have found so many ways to quietly serve. However, he lived a life that reflected Jesus...his unselfish love to his family, his willing heart to help others...his unconditional love for his children...much of my own image of God was learned because of who my Dad was. Those of you who knew him will no doubt agree...

I also want to thank God this morning for the father of MY children...this wonderful man who I've been so blessed to be with for almost 15 fifteen years. I thank you for his devotion to his wife and daughters, knowing that we are a "little church". I know without a doubt that family has priority over his job, and I am grateful. As a dad, he is firm, loving, honest, and true....and even downright silly at times, to the delight of his little girls! I watch them together and know that they are learning not just about their own dad, but about a loving God who loves His children unconditionally....they see not just a father who provides for them, but a role model for the kind of man I pray God provides for each of them someday...most of all, I thank you for a man who shows his children just how much he loves his wife.
Last night we talking about how "easy" our marriage has been...certainly not without it's ups & downs, but all in all, it's been easy. Why God blessed us in this way I can't say...I can only give thanks. Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there, and a special thank you to my wonderful "ape" husband.

And some things just make sense...

2005-06-17T21:54:00.000-04:00

You scored as Roman Catholic. You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you.

Roman Catholic

96%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

89%

Neo orthodox

64%

Reformed Evangelical

61%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

50%

Fundamentalist

46%

Emergent/Postmodern

39%

Classical Liberal

32%

Modern Liberal

18%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

You've been book tagged!!

2005-06-14T20:40:00.000-04:00

A new reader of my blog has "book tagged" me, which means I get to answer the following questions, and then send them on to five others to do the same...her blog is one that touches the heart...so be sure to visit
Loni at Journaling Through the Valley....and it's nice to have yet another homeschool mom to get to know! Okay, my questions:

YOU'VE BEEN BOOK TAGGED! :)

1. The most books you've ever owned.
Well, that would be now....as one who met my husband as a penpal through an organization called "Single Bookloves", we were sort of "condemned" to a life of clutter and dusty bookshelves anywhere we can fit one...add two kids who like to read and the decision to homeschool a few years back...well, you get the idea! Before we moved out to PA over 13 years ago I had the idea to actual "catalog" all my husband's books as an anniversary gift...I got them all written down and at that time there were over 2300...13 years later, I guess we could probably open a little branch of the local library here! (Maybe pushing close to 3000???? We have 15 bookshelves!)

2. The last book I bought . . .
"ON STAGE" and "LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION" by Lisa Bany-Winters. They are two children's drama activity books that I'll be using next year to teach a drama/music theater class at our homeschool coop.

3. The five books that mean the most to me are. . .
BIBLE, the dictionary, the biography of ST. ELIZABETH BAILEY SETON, LETTERS TO GABRIEL by Karen Santorum, and the BABY BLUES cartoon books (they keep me sane and are a lovely reflection of the insanity that takes place daily in our home!). Ask me again tomorrow, and aside from the first selection, you might get a totally different list! :O)

Before I name my "tag-ees", please know that I've been lax in reading my blogs in the last week...my husband said that this one's been going around, so if I'm tagging someone who's already been tagged elsewhere, disregard it, okay?

Chris
Epiphany
Penni
Mary

...and because he's such a wonderful husband who allowed me an "easy" one...
Bob

Anyone else have hot, cranky kids??

2005-06-14T07:22:00.000-04:00

Well, it's 7:23 AM and it's already hotter outside than in....much as I love living in PA, this early summer heatwave has got me in a GROUCHY mood!! We don't have air conditioning, and this heat and humidity remind me of my Houston days.

The girls have been cranky, cranky, cranky.....unfortunately, so has mom! Today we absolutely stuck at home as I insisted that my Ape Husband take the good car to work. The "bad" car--the one he usually drives--has NO fan, so no air whatsoever...and the driver's window doesn't open either, so he's just driving around a portable oven! He SAYS it's not so bad as he parks on the lowest deck of the parking garage where it at least stays DARK, but I noticed he didn't fight me today when I told him to take the other car! :O)

We have a little mini pool that helps, but the day ahead sure does seem long! At least there is a coldfront promised tomorrow!

Update on the showdown at the okay corral....there is a baby jay in the next this morning, so the "feud" has been taken up a notch!! I guess I should be grateful that I don't have to spend my day flying around chasing crows away!! Off to make dinner before it gets any hotter...then another of scrapbooking in front of the fan!

Blue Jay Mamas....

2005-06-13T22:31:00.000-04:00

Have been absent from blogworld this past week; have found it so relaxing to just sit and read or scrapbook, and not really care too much about the world's events!
Today, however, I was struck by the fierce determination of a blue jay mama and papa to defend their nest that I had to write. I suspected that jays had nested in our huge maple tree as I remember them "scoping" the tree out earlier this spring. Yesterday while sitting outside the back door I happened to look up and saw the nest with mama bird perched inside ....JUSt outside the kitchen door. I don't think the babies have hatched yet...or if so, they are still too tiny to make much noise.

This morning the commotion began when two crows decided they wanted jay eggs for breakfast. I watched all day as they kept coming back, and the jays were SO aggressive against these birds over twice their size! My little one asked why they were being so mean, and I told her, "that mama is protecting her babies...and I know just how she feels!" It was just another moment of realization of how God planned and ordered the universe so that parents protect their children.

Now, I know, there are mother animals who eat their young--and sadly far too many HUMAN mothers that deny life for their own--but this jay had such a mama's heart, and the male was just as fierce in protecting his mate. Not just his territory, but his MATE and unborn children. My little one and I sat on and off all day watching the attempts, and how each time they were driven away....once gone, they would both fly back up and tenderly attend to the nest.

I've already warned my daughter about how the jays will also go after the cat once the babies are born...especially if one should fall....and I've also explained the instincts of cats to eat baby birds. Today, however, I just enjoyed the show. I know that in animals its more instinct than love, but nonetheless I'll be watching this nest daily with my binoculars.

Aside from that, I think I've also kept away because I'm such a BEAR with this never ending heat wave FAR too early in the summer! I don't do heat and humidity well, and am just downright cranky. Unfortunately, so are both daughters. Coldfront is due on Wednesday...I"ll be the one standing out in the rain thanking God for the northwest wind!

A couple of fun things...

2005-05-29T14:50:00.000-04:00

Spending my weekend catching up on favorite blogs, and found both of these that
looked fun. Thanks, Alicia for posting these...now have fun!

Mindless trivia #1 -- The ABC's of Getting to Know You

A is for Age - 46
B is for Booze – strawberry daiquires
C is for Career - mom; part time religious ed. database manager
D is for Dad’s name - Bernard
E is for Essential items to bring to a party – my watch
F is for Favorite song at the moment – "Mr. Mom" -- Lonestar (guaranteed to change in the NEXT moment!!)
H is for Hometown – Concord, MA
I is for Instrument you play – Piano...guitar is collecting dust
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Raspberry, strawberry
K is for Kids - 2 girls
L is for Living arrangement – old, little, rundown farmhouse...lots of potential until we started having kids!
M is for Mom’s name - Helen
N is for Names of best friends – Mary, Judy, DeDe, Beth
O is for overnight hospital stays – 2 baby deliveries...exactly 5 years and 23 minutes apart (makes it easy for mom to remember their birthday!)
P is for Phobias – FROGS & DENTISTS....together OR apart!
Q is for Quote you like – Who you are is God's gift to you; who you become is your gift back to God....wish I knew who said it.
R is for Relationship that lasted longest – I'm assuming that means romantic...I guess my husband of almost 15 years would win that one!
S is for Siblings – 1 Sister, 2 brother--oldest is severely retarded and lives in a group home...have only seen him a few times....hey, it was a different world back in my mom's earlier days!
U is for Unique trait – I tend to be an optomist...that's relatively unique these days!
V if for Vegetable you love - Asparagus, spinach
W is for Worst trait - perfectionism, pride...and I do guilt too well!
X - is for XRays you’ve had – Chest xray once; teeth xrays LONG ago...
Y is for Yummy food you make – family birthday cake recipie, Swedish meatballs, chicken wings....I like "down home" cooking
Z is for Zodiac sign – Pisces, although I'm not too big on the whole thing!

Mindless Trivia #2...
"What five things are the people you know well crazy about that you just don't get?"
1. American Idol -- Makes me glad we gave up television years ago.
2. Any Survivor show -- see above
3. Perfect landscaping -- an advantage of an old, rundown farmhouse is that the
"rustic" look works! Doesn't help that I'm allergic to most of the outdoors!
4. Any big name department store -- did I mention I live within 2 miles of FIVE
different dollar stores?? I also have a hard time walking past a used bookstore!
5. The Academy Awards -- alot of hullabaloo over not much at all!

And now, MY contribution...I'm actually STARTING one!

Mindless trivia #3...in all fairness--
Name five things that you ARE crazy about that most people would think you're wierd for:
1. CBS Soaps -- It's my hour and a half of escape every few days...even I think
I'm nuts, but I've been watching these two shows since they started!
2. Homeschooling -- Maybe I AM crazy!
3. Iced coffee -- (especially Dunkin Donuts!)...drink it all year long!
4. Libraries -- we have cards to three so far...I don't dare get anymore!
5. Jesus Christ -- this is a serious one...as a pagan turned Protestant missionary
turned avid Roman Catholic, some folks still think I'm nuts (not to mention most
of the world), but my faith is by far the most important thing in my life!

Child, go to bed!!

2005-05-26T22:37:00.000-04:00

It's now 10:30pm and I finally got my storm queen to sleep...she was so excited about the fact that as of tomorrow at lunch she'll be a "second grader" that she even cried a bit....and then bounced around on her bed, on her sister's bed, off the walls, and almost into my coffee cup for the next hour or so. I'd forgotten about the "last day of school--beginning of summer vacation" excitement of a child.
Now I've come downstairs to find the Equestrienne happier than I've seen her in days. Good evaluation, you say? Nawhh.....it was the best dad in the world buying her the DVD of Harry Potter III for her to watch. Now that it's over, she's saying she's not tired--nope, not one bit. Mom, on the other hand, has been up since 6:00 and has a chest cold, and I AM tired. Granted, the coughing might keep ME up, but aren't children supposed to go to sleep before their parents??!!

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy burdened...and I will give you rest"
Now why is that one of my favorite Bible verses?

Last day of school tomorrow!

2005-05-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

The equestrienne had her evaluation today, and it went really well; not only did the evaluater NOT cringe at the width of the portfolio, but as she also loves to scrapbook she thought it was all the more wonderful (I hope content counts as much as presentation!! :O) !!). I also learned that until the evaluation is over, I doubt myself as a teacher. Really, I do. I think the evaluation is more for ME than the student. I've been so nervous "trusting my instincts" in regards to math, and she said that it sounded like just the right thing to do for the STUDENT. I guess that's where the educational system just CAN'T compete with homeschooling. We can cater our curriculum to exactly what the student NEEDS, whereas in most classroom settings the student has to conform to the curriculum...whether or not it works for them. I also have a hard time admitting that my child isn't "perfect" in every subject...that maybe not doing the grade level math right now, but switching to a slightly less difficult curriculum that gives her the learning approach that she succeeds with, is actually smarter in the long run. So today I feel like we had a successful year. Granted, until the Stanford test results come in and show that she hasn't dropped 67 points in every subject I will still be a bit fretful--SOME of the time! For now, I look forward to our last day of school tomorrow, with a closing prayer service, lunch out with Dad, and then later on the movie "Madagascar".

I'm also almost done with next year's lesson plans....now THAT'S a change!! After two years of doing EVERYTHING myself, it's so nice to just mix and match the different weeks to match the liturgical year, and pick and choose the seventh grade subjects and follow the guidelines for schedules, and voila! I'm almost done! The workload seemed like alot more while planning, but in the end I think it will come out to be just a little more time spent doing work for the girls (and I've already told her that in 7th grade she SHOULD be doing a bit more), and the added structure will help.

I'm currently reading a book entitled "A Mother's Rule of Life", which promises to bring "order to the home and peace to the soul"....I was skeptical when I started, but already it's making so much sense. One of the reasons I think our house tends to be so chaotic is that we don't have ENOUGH structure. The girls have grown up more or less having to do nothing, and I'm beginning to see the consequences--and it's not a pretty sight. I also believe that the Catholic curriculum will help them in learning about carrying their share of the household responsibilities. In the last week I've begun giving them some chores, and they seem totally receptive (well, MOST of the time!). This summer we'll have little checklists and charts all over the house as we ALL do a little behavior management (my forever friend is smiling as she reads this as that's her profession!)....and hopefully we'll all enjoy the positive benefits of less stress and more free time. Sort of a paradox, but it makes sense.

Oh, well, I've gone on much too long....off to give the storm queen her bath!

YAAAAYYY! The portfolio is done!!

2005-05-24T22:43:00.000-04:00

As a homeschool mom, nothing is more exciting than to finally finish the portfolio for the year...especially with the Equestrienne's evaluation just two days away! :O) I find that there are two types of portfolios...one--the simple type that shows what learning has taken place, and two--the "so-thick-that-I-needed-to-go-to-Staples-to-get-the-widest-binder-allowed-by-law" type....guess which kind we do?? :O) I suspect that our evaluator cringes when we walk in, but when I asked my daughter if she'd prefer a shorter version, she replied quite passionately that she LOVED the thick portfolio..."it's my MEMORY of sixth grade, mom!". When I started thinking about it that way, I realized that I feel the same way. I include photos, little keepsakes, and probably more writing samples than I need to...but it's a memory of the year, and shows alot more than just what's been learned academically. It shows her emotional growth, her spiritual maturity, and even the little things that she loves (for example, the "theme" this year is Beatrix Potter since she loves rabbits right now). I also find that the process--which involves a fair amount of scrapbooking--is very relaxing for me. Down the road we may take out alot of the odds and ends (like MATH sheets! :O)), but the "memories" will remain.
Now that the required one is done, I can start finishing up the Storm Queen's (I don't legally have to turn one in for her until she's 8, which will be 3rd grade). She's been sick the past couple of days, but at one point asked for her kindergarten portfolio to look through...and then "reminisced" her way through "when I was younger" days. She must be starting to feel better, for she's getting a bit more argumentative!
Friday is our last day of homeschool for the year. We'll have a short closing prayer service, promotion to the next grade, and then pick up Dad for lunch. I think afterwards I'll treat them to seeing "Madagascar"...not a bad way to end the year! :O) Okay, that's it for now...I"m off to finish up the schedule for NEXT year! I hope that my blog life will get back to normal in the next few weeks! I"ve missed so many of you!

Counting days....

2005-05-12T22:58:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my absence of late...with the homeschool year coming quickly to an end, I seem to be busier than usual. I envy all of you who are managing to post on a regular basis and do portfolios, too!

Although my daughter has actually hit her required 180 days as of yesterday, we are going two more weeks to end at the close of this month...with the last week being "fluff" days, as we call them (at first I felt a bit guilty scheduling only fun and field trips that week, until I remember just how much she used to do in SCHOOL during the last few weeks of classes!)....

My six year old storm queen will come close to the 180 days (not required here in PA until age 8), and hopefully over the summer will lose some of this new-found openly defiant attitude toward the big, bad mommy...gray hairs are popping at an alarming rate just this week alone!! Today I can count not one, not two, but three of these "big" blowups (the little ones I gave up trying to keep track of!!), and I look at her and wonder what alien being has just taken over her body. Within an hour or so she has usually apologized and had her cry session for being such a "bad daughter".....and then I pray that a new storm won't erupt when the consequences are brought forth. I don't remember my oldest being this stormy. Storm queen, Blonde Fury....take your pick--I love my little strong willed daughter SO MUCH, and I guess God gave her to me knowing that it would ensure that I stay on my knees!!

Anyone for some Myers-Briggs?

2005-05-03T23:33:00.000-04:00

Your #1 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

Gee.....I'm a homeschooling mom who accompanies a chorus and teaches a drama class to homeschool kids....I also work at church to "nurture" the faith of many. But interior design?????? Unless that includes the use of duct tape, I'd never make it there! Seriously, any other Myers Briggs fans out there? I tend to test as either an ESFJ or an ENFJ every time, so I guess this is on the money again.

God bless More modern mammographies!

2005-05-03T22:45:00.000-04:00

Okay, if anyone had told me even yesterday that I'd EVER be praising the process of having one's anatomical parts being squished like a pancake, I'd have laughed. But this morning I drove for my long overdue mammogram, and found a brand new kind of machine awaiting me. The machine did NOT make me practice Lamaze breathing, or even remotely desire hitting or kicking the radiologist....it just did enough of what it was supposed to do to take a picture. Not just a PICTURE, but a 3-D version that pops up on the computer screen....was that really ME? The pictures are supposed to be the best around, and it doesn't hurt. Well, that's all I need to say that I'll go and do it again next year, and won't even complain. I also am 100% certain that this new machine was invented by a woman.

Although I'm not a radiologist, I didn't see anything in the screen images that looked like something to worry about...I'll wait for the report to arrive in the next few days or so. On a serious note, I urge all my female comrades out there in the blogosphere to think about whether they are due for this delightful test...even with the OLD machine, if it can save a life by early detection, then please don't hesitate! It may be your life you are saving!

Lessons learned from the Laundry...

2005-05-02T22:00:00.000-04:00

Inspired by a recent post about the "summit" by
Chris in The Big Yellow House,
I offer my own list...

1. The missing matched sock will show up the day after the
trash man takes away the one you finally threw out.

2. Summer clothes breed in the closet during the winter and
spring months, and often in sizes that are too small for the
upcoming season.

3. The number of hand-me-down bags of clothes that one
receives in a year's time is inversely proportionate to the
amount of any available space in one's closets, garages,
and other "storage" areas.

4. Those same bags of clothing always come in a dark, non-see
through plastic, and therefore occassionally get mistaken
for a regular trash bag and thrown away....guaranteed to
have the ONE article of clothing that was absolutely, without
question the "favorite, I must have it, I can't believe I finally
got one" item of your fashion conscious six year old daughter.

5. The one bag that comes in clear see through plastic has all
the inappropriate items that your pre-teen falls in love with
and is not allowed to wear.

6. As soon as winter clothes are finally sorted through and
put away, the spring temperature drops to the 50's and the
weather man smiles as he mentions that "S" word as a late
night possibility for early May!

7. Any laundry basket that is filled with clean laundry and not
covered with a towel or other item immediately has a black
cat curled up in it.

8. Conversely, the dirty laundry NEVER does.....nor the basket that
you DO remember to cover right away.

9. The day you run out of laundry detergent is the day your preteen
announces that she MUST have a certain item to wear that day
for many various reasons....most of which involve either a boy's
name or a shopping mall.

10. As soon as clean laundry is all folded and put away, you enter
the girls' bedroom and pick up a new load full off their floor.

11. Laundry never ends. Never.

End of Year "Martha" magnitude!

2005-05-02T21:25:00.000-04:00

I've been too busy to even READ many blogs this week, let alone post! (And I STILL feel like I've been on the computer too much!!) At work, we've had one of three first communion Masses, and the other two are this weekend...I've been printing out certificates and helping with odds and ends; I served as Eucharistic Minister both during the communion liturgy and the following day, and I got the "Holy Spirit goosebumps" watching these little ones receive our Lord for the first time! It saddens me sometimes to see so many coming up to receive like they were standing in line for a free cookie....and I pray for each of them to FEEL Him enter their bodies and nourish them like nothing else can. It also seems that every time I serve, I am at some point just overjoyed and enveloped into the realization that I am holding Jesus, and that each and every person is part of that body of Christ...such a mystery, and yet so simple a truth.

I'm also busy finishing up the homeschool year, which is no easy task as my two are not unlike any other child in regular school at this time of year. "Mooooooom....I'm TIRED of learning!" I heard from my six year old last week. And then the next day--a scheduled "day off" for Mom to work on portfolios--she was asking for some math to do. Go figure! (I'm STILL trying to figure out why anyone would ask for MATH of all things!!!). I just finished ordering items for next year, and I know that once they arrive I'll want to sit right down and get every lesson plan done out right away (yeah, RIGHT!!). Okay, so maybe it's more accurate to say I'll want to sit down and "play" with the new toys while neglecting some of the necessary items that still need doing. Portfolios are probably 60% percent done by now, but it's amazing to me how quickly those piles of paper add up! I also have alot of photos to put together, and whereas I tend to do those scrapbook style, they take longer.

I'm also entering into the final two weeks of the homeschool coop teaching, so I have report cards and final papers to grade, and a final class to prepare for. And finally, this weekend I play in a concert for a small community chorus that I accompany, so I guess I should TRY to sit at the old ivories a few times between now and then....one of the pieces is a Gershwin medley including a piano solo of parts of "Rhapsody in Blue", so I have some incentive to practice!

When I'm done with all that, I can get to the laundry piles, the summer clothes that beckon from the closet to be sorted through and washed (after doing the same for all the late winter/spring clothes in the bureaus!!), windows to wash, a kitchen floor that's getting stickier by the day, a new oven that was just splattered with it's first roast chicken that now needs cleaning, old homeschool books to price for an upcoming book sale, shopping, vaccuming, and who knows what else? But Lord, I really DO want to just sit at your feet!!! Help me to have at least Mary's heart while the rest of me is running around like Martha at full speed ahead!

Motherhood is NOT for wimps...

2005-04-28T08:14:00.000-04:00

The Storm Queen appears to be on the mend...she didn't need the bucket at all yesterday and her fever seems to be down today. This morning she has already asked to wear her new short culotte skirt (I love hand-me-down bags!!), and when I told her it might not be warm enough she replied, "but it's FASHIONABLE!"

She then went to pick up a BABY BLUES cartoon book to read (I think the authors have held stake-outs outside our windows to get their material!) and put the first one down to pick up Motherhood is Not for Wimps instead....looking up with her new tooth-missing grin she says, "I like this one better because Zoe and Hammie fight alot"....and then added, "Wanda thinks she's a wimp....but YOU'RE a mother and YOU'RE not a wimp."

Bless you, my child.

A mother's vigil...

2005-04-26T23:54:00.000-04:00

"I am her mother and I will not let her know fear. I am her mother and I will comfort her tears….I will feed her…I will change her diapers…I will do what ever it takes to make her feel loved…I will do what no one BUT the mother can do."

As I sit up at the computer keeping the night-long vigil for a sick child asleep on the couch.....a vigil only a mother can keep....I am comforted by these words written by Minivan Mom as she remembers her youngest child in the intensive care unit as an infant. My "patient" was also a NICU baby due to my pre-eclampsia and early delivery. Although it was just a case of immature lungs and not being able to regulate body temperature for a day or two, I too clearly remember that panic that sets in when you realize "my baby should have been back by now". I spent my time in NIC watching her lying under a heat lamp...also hooked up to wires and bells (although compared to most she was in great shape...the nurses called her "the sleeping giant" because she was a whole 6 pounds!). My biggest regrets were that I ended up unable to nurse her; because her suckling reflex wasn't developed enough, and I couldn't hold her long enough to work with her because her temp. would drop, I had to be satisfied to "pump" for a couple of months instead. Tonight, I watch her finally sleeping after clutching a bucket for most of the day, and I give thanks for the wonders of who she is....and for the incredible privilege of being a MOM. Tomorrow I'll have bags under the eyes and will no doubt need extra caffeine and sugar to survive, but I wouldn't trade the vigil for anything in the world.

A grateful Human Bride...

2005-04-26T23:08:00.000-04:00

Before the day is out, I want to take a moment to wish my wonderful
Ape Husband a happy birthday. It was not, alas, a birthday celebration to go down in history.Although I had gone out and bought the nice steak and figured a quiet meal after the girls had gone to sleep, the Storm Queen awoke with a sore throat and seems to have a stomach bug as she's been sick all day. So I just kissed him good night and sent him off to bed, while I do "nurse" duty with the patient who is sure to wake up anytime now and be up for hours as she's been napping! I guess I'll catch up on my blog time and begin to type up the girls' reading lists for the year. My loving husband began his blog just a year ago, and I think he has grown so much from his adventure into the blogosphere....I thank the many bloggers out there who have gotten to know him just a bit. Being an introvert, he has perhaps shown more of who he is inside to all of you than to many that he knows. I was thinking back to how we met as penpals, and how it was the written communication that first made me fall in love with him...he is truly an amazing man, and I am blessed to be called his "human bride"!

One of the many reasons we homeschool...

2005-04-21T16:10:00.000-04:00

We just got home from one of our "field trip" days....went to a youth performance of a local symphony orchestra (our homeschool coop is able to get the cheaper tickets along with all the school groups) which the girls just loved. I am forever amazed at just how well homeschool children tend to behave at these concerts....quiet, attentive, and appreciative (heard much "whispering" going on throughout the hall during the numbers that children might not have known as well).

There were 16 of us today....guess that counts as some socialization, huh? Topics of discussion beforehand ranged from next year's curriculum choices at our coop to lives of the composers. I noticed children talking with children of all ages--and even adults they didn't know by name--without any thought to whether the others were in the "clique" or not.

Afterwards, we went for a late lunch....during which time the children's menu allowed for plenty of English and science as it was all about dinosaurs...between spelling and word games my six year old waited patiently for her meal (while another child a bit younger quietly fussed a couple of tables over because "they are taking TOO long with MY food"). My oldest and I discussed the ethical implications of what would happen if they found a dinosaur fossil with enough preserved marrow tissue (I vaguely remember hearing this on the news in the last week or so, but haven't seen anything since) to clone it and bring back the species. After our meal, my oldest used a bit of math to figure out the tip.

From there, it was off to the library, where they each picked out books, videos, and puppets (my music history class is doing a short puppet scene from "The Magic Flute" and we needed some puppets!). And now we are home, with one curled up with Lemony Snicket and the other watching the muppets. Me? I now have some time to work on portfolios after a wonderful day with two of my favorite people in the whole world......and THAT is why we homeschool!!

I DID IT, I DID IT-- ALL BY MYSELF!!!

2005-04-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

Yippy Skippy!!!! After a couple of unsuccesful attempts to post a link, I finally asked my Ape husband for one more "inservice" this morning and wrote out a little "cheat sheet" for myself.......and my last post was my first successful solo venture into the land of reading and linking.

Oh, no....me thinks the Ape has created a monster!

Pope Benedict XVI's first homily...

2005-04-20T22:47:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading the first homily by our new Pope, posted by

Amy Welborn and was struck by one statement in particular that our new Holy Father had to say:

"I undertake this special ministry, the 'Petrine' ministry at the service of the Universal Church, with humble abandon to the hands of the Providence of God."

Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by St. Ignatius:
"There are very few people who realize what God would make of them if they abandoned themselves into his hands, and let themselves be formed by his grace."

I am so hopeful for what the future may bring for our Church. I must admit some sadness and a bit of anger at my OWN parish leadership's response--one saying "oh...Ratzinger...he's a Nazi" and the other declaring that he was heading off to "console" himself with chocolate...what they had hoped for, I can only speculate--and I'm not taking that road. Pope Benedict's humility and trust in God--and his faith in not just his predecessor, but in the line that stretches back to Jesus and Peter--is evident early on. May God bless this vessel with infinite grace and wisdom.

C'est MOI?????? It Can't be!!!!

2005-04-19T23:23:00.000-04:00

Sigh....and I was having such a good day.....mon Dieu...

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated.
You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's" Your Inner European?

Bless you, Pope Benedict XVI

2005-04-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

Thank you, Lord, for your guiding Spirit, that has spoken quickly and decisively in the hearts of those you enkindled. I am so grateful that our new shepherd appears to be one that recognizes the traditional truths of our faith, and will uphold the orthodox teachings which Jesus entrusted to Peter.

I have great and renewed faith in Papal Infallibility today!! The Holy Spirit will not let our Church be led into relativism.

I am also SO grateful that as a homeschool mom my daughters could sit and watch the white smoke, hear the bells, see the doors open, and strain to hear the name.....and in a special way further give thanks for my youngest, who was moved to tears. I have felt in my heart that she is the nun of the family...once she learns to align her will to God's....but today was one further indication that the Spirit moves in a special way in her heart.

I wish I knew Latin!! It's one of those times you want to stand on the rooftops and proclaim Latin to the world!!

Retreat Reflections -- Part One

2005-04-18T19:48:00.000-04:00

Saturday I had the pleasure of a day away with God on a one day retreat for my lay ministry schooling....I figure I have enough blog material to last quite awhile now, and it felt so good to reconnect with Jesus in a personal way that only retreat can do. Our retreat leader was a wonderful woman from Massachusetts, and she had SO many things to say that touched me deeply--some even hurt a little. Today I just want to focus on the two things that she said that have stayed with me throughout all my reflections.

The first, in doing a whole reflection on Martha and Mary, was the one that hurt....as I too often falsely pride myself on being a Martha--and STILL believe that the Church could not survive WITHOUT the Marthas--it was a zinger to hear this (and I'm paraphrasing): "Being Martha is easy....there are always things that need to be done, and it's so easy to let those distractions guide us as we serve our Lord throughout they day....sort of the Elasticgirl of the New Testament (my additional!).....however, you have to CHOOSE to be a Mary. You have to make it a PRIORITY to take time to just sit at His feet and listen". I still hate it when the Holy Spirit gets me that way. I already struggle with guilt over a prayer life that's not as good as it should be, and now my "Martha" excuse has just been blown out of the water. Precious Lord, give me the desire to CHOOSE to be with you...

The second thing I heard that made the whole day worthwhile in itself is this:
"Noone LEAVES the Catholic Church and then "finds" something else in another church...no, we FIND something else first, and then leave". I've been reflecting on this a lot as someone stopped me in the middle of Home Depot the other day to confess that he's struggling with his faith and might leave to go to a Protestant church. I believe the above statement is so true in two different ways....first, we can be failing as a Church in really sharing the gospel of Jesus and that personal relationship that we all need, and two, people can make choices contrary to the Church which then lead them to "find" the justification for those choices elsewhere. Case in point...this person had left his wife years back and remarried, and now questions all these "rules" about communion and remarriage and contraception and God knows what else (it's quite difficult to have deep religious conversations in Home Depot with anyone when you also have a six year old who's bored along for the trip!). I realized that this person has ALREADY left the Church, and is grappling with how to make that choice "work" for him. I plan to call him and share my feelings and thoughts, and will pray for him.

As a convert who questioned just about EVERYTHING about the faith in the conversion process, I now cannot even FATHOM leaving. Although I have nothing against any Protestant church who shares a Christian view of personal relationship with Jesus, I can't imagine why anyone would leave HIM--Jesus Himself, who comes to each of us everytime we approach His table in the flesh--to go elsewhere. It's like buying a stove with only 2 of the four burners working. Yes, you can cook a meal, but why not have the Maytag of the line with every burner a blazing? That's enough for today...will do some more retreat reflections over the course of the next week or so. And, of course, there's that little matter in Rome to talk about.....:O)

Missing my blogtime...

2005-04-15T21:50:00.000-04:00

Well, since Mittens was put to sleep I've been doing less 3:30am blogging...unfortunately the past couple of weeks have been so busy that I've not gotten much time to do anything more online than read a few of my favorite blogs. Luckily my Ape husband keeps me informed of anything major happening in the world.

Today we had a family "shopping" day to spend our tax return, and although a LONG day, it was fun to spend some time together. So often I have the kids all day and then say hello and goodbye when Ape gets home to head off to either work, school, or church. In a few more weeks my concert will be over, school will be out for the summer, and weekly religion classes at church will cease until fall, and I'm greatly anticipating more free time in the evenings! Of course, with homeschool portfolios due at the end of June, I still have some tasks ahead! Actually, both portfolios are in pretty good shape...I have the last month or so to add, as well as some photos. I usually do some scrapbooking to give the girls a "momento" of their year, and I also find it very relaxing, so I'm looking forward to doing so. This year I chose a "Beatrix Potter" theme for each. The reason? While cleaning out closets at work, I came across a couple of dozen old wallpaper sample books that I think have been in the closet for about 10 years! Although "old", I found that they cut down very nicely and provide some wonderful scrapbooking patterns....and they're free! (Ask me in two years if they've held up!)

Next week our homeschool coop has a big craft/history/science fair, and my oldest has two entries....the first is a painting from an art class she took this spring, and the second is a poster display of Ellis Island and some of her ancestors that came through. This is her last big project of the year...right now we're trying to get through these last few weeks!

Tomorrow I go on a day long retreat for school....I'll write more about the time away with God. For now, I'm going to go and catch up on a few more blogs!

WHAT???? NO MOCHA CHIP???

2005-04-13T22:21:00.000-04:00

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz.

Thank you, St. Francis!

2005-04-08T21:10:00.000-04:00

I just got back from the vet with our other kitty Java, and she tested negative for feline leukemia....she got all her shots and needs to go back for a booster in three weeks, but right now the vet seems to think that she's going to be okay.
Much as I miss my Mittens so much, I'm so grateful that she appears to have been spared the same fate. She'll need to be retested in six months, but for now we're just giving thanks and lighting candles to St. Francis!

Remembering our Holy Father

2005-04-08T07:53:00.000-04:00

I got up along with countless others in the blogosphere to watch the funeral of our beloved Pope John Paul II this morning, and was touched by so many things. The latin music was so beautiful, and there was such peace in the ORDER of the Mass. I remember during my conversion that I was initially "bored" by the "same-ness" of the weekly Mass....I was used to a Protestant service that changed things around so that people would stay interested. Today I gave thanks for the rich traditions of the liturgy, and despite the Latin knew just what was being said. Aside from the CBS commentary--which drove us mad--the service was beautiful. (I'm glad my mom was at least going to tape it for me on Fox News!) I also was struck by the simplicity of the casket, and my loving Ape husband & I often talk about how we want that same simplicity....his thought this morning was that "as long as it holds up until I reach the bottom of the grave, it's just fine". How many people today spend thousands on these fancy caskets because it's the "proper" way to present the body?

Getting back to the funeral Mass....the other part of the funeral that I am still remembering is the Litany of the Saints. As I studied the Catholic Faith more and more before converting, it was the lives of the saints that really guided me.
Just ordinary people responding to the extraordinary graces available to all of us....the fact that we are ALL called to be saints is something I cherish. It also gave me great hope while reading Augustine that maybe, I, too, could be saved...I often tell the confirmation kids about the "party animal" saint, as I lovingly call him.

Today we said our final goodbyes to a man who I believe was a living saint. His "yes" to God was evident in all he did, and I reminded my Ape husband that it was his leadership and the unfolding of the Second Vatican Council that brought me--and no doubt countless others--to the Church....to which he said "Thank you, John Paul". I couldn't agree more; of all the many blessings that God has given me, the Catholic faith is by far the greatest of all of them.

This morning I grieve, but with hope in my heart that someday I, too, will be presented to God by all saints who have gone before. Today I am grateful to the depths of my soul that I am a Roman Catholic.

Mourning Many Losses...

2005-04-04T21:48:00.000-04:00

I've been very quiet this past week. The death of Terry Shiavo hit me hard. The death of our Holy Father hit me harder. As a convert, I owe my faith to the SEcond Vatican Council and the Church which he has led since. And tonight I sit here with yet another to mourn....in comparison, a life so small. However, this little life was the one I was closest to of the three. I had to say goodbye to one of our cats today. And it hurts.

Friday night I noticed his breathing was heavy...over the weekend I kept vigil, thinking that perhaps he was experiencing congestive heart failure (our last cat died of that a few years back)...last night I was up until 2:30, sure it was his last. This morning we decided that we needed to take him to the vet...just in case it was something else. When the call came, I wasn't prepared to hear feline leukemia....I wasn't prepared to hear that we needed to bring the other cat in to be tested as well...I wasn't prepared to hear that there was nothing they could really do. Right after the call came, I had to go and teach for three hours...and then I went to the animal hospital to be with him as he died.

I wasn't prepared for the feeling of guilt as I told the vet that we had chosen to put him to sleep....she had explained that his lung capacity was so bad that he would stop eating and drinking and starve to death...or they could "tap" his chest (I envisioned maple trees) to drain it and maybe need to do that on a weekly basis. No....he didn't have a living will....but I really AM certain on this one that he didn't want to live like that. As I sat with him for awhile beforehand I kept thinking of poor Terri....and then got so scared to think that soon society will choose this "less painful" way and just give people lethal injections instead of starving them....and I cried. I think losing Mittens just made it easier to cry for all of them....Terri...Pope John Paul II...and my pain-in-the-neck kitty who I will miss dearly.

His sister is wandering around looking for him...and now I must prepare myself and the girls for possibly one more round of grief...St. Francis, I ask for your intercessions. Sorry this is so "down"....it's my first real written expression of my grief, and so the healing has begun. I know many don't believe that pets go to heaven, but don't DISbelieve it...and right now I find great peace to think about my Mittens and the two new laps he has to curl up on tonight. Peace.

Hope is dimming...at least here

2005-03-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

I know I've been pretty quiet this past week, and with Terry's life down to what appears to be hours, my hope turns to the eternal life that awaits her....

The one thing that keeps coming to mind: For someone who supposedly wanted to die, she sure as hell as been fighting like crazy to live...

Feline haikus...those 3:30am inspirations!

2005-03-26T15:23:00.000-05:00

With all that is happening in Florida, I am drained....therefore, I am taking respite by posting something I wrote earlier in the week....have a blessed Easter. May Jesus cradle Terri in His arms when she finally arrives home and send peace to her family......as Jesus spoke, "It is finished." God have mercy on all of us, and thank you for the hope that we all have in resurrection.

Feline Haikus:

MITTENS AND JAVA--
TWO CATS WHO KEEP MY BLOG TIME
3:30 A.M.

SLEEPING IN SUNSHINE
CURLED UP IN MY CLEAN LAUNDRY
MY TURN NOW...."WAKE UP!!"

It's hard being six sometimes...

2005-03-25T21:02:00.000-05:00

Today was a sorely trying day at times....my six year old had a hard time being the "left out" kid for parts of the last 24 hours. My oldest had a good friend who hasn't been around much lately sleep over last night, and I tried so hard to balance her need for some alone time with the younger's need to feel a part of things (she, too, missed this friend). She did pretty well with these little time periods worked into the schedule....that is, until after lunch. I had given her a choice of time with them either before or after lunch, and of course she chose before lunch--six year olds are not known for the ability to wait. For ANYthing. After lunch--upon realizing that her prior choice was now going to ban her from the room--she wailed, "Mommy, it's YOUR fault....you shouldn't have given me a choice!" While the older girls sat in their bedroom enjoying the last of their quiet time together, my youngest parked herself outside their door to voice her disapproval of this "dumb rule". No use trying to explain to a 6 year old that yes, sometimes life really IS unfair. No use trying to explain that girls who are five years older really DO need some time alone....no use trying to invite her to have some "special mommy time" to play a game or read a book....no use doing much of anything except pray for a short lived tempest. Eventually she came down to curl up on my lap and have a good cry, only to start up again as she thought more about it. When I explained that I really DID understand (I had an older sister, too), she replied that "no, you don't....you and Auntie Cheryl are OLD...you don't understand"......aaaahhhhh, it's time to pray. Just hold her and pray. When will I learn that I can't reason, cajole, bargain with, distract, or change the mind of my strong willed little girl. If she sees the injustice of the rules of HER universe, then all I can do is love her and pray.

I'm beginning to understand why the boyhood of Jesus was not recorded in the Bible....I know he was fully divine, but maybe NOT describing his fully HUMAN nature as a six year old was truly proof of the inspiration of the Holy Spirit!

Holy Thursday....Eucharist....and feet washing

2005-03-24T22:30:00.000-05:00

Just came back from Mass and an hour of prayer with Jesus, and needed to post....Mass was so emotional for me tonight. It's been 14 years since I had my own foot washed and received our Lord for the first time two days later, and every year the Triduum just means more and more to me. Tonight I was feeling so sad and angry, wondering if Terri's family would even get to Mass this weekend....thinking of poor Terri who cannot "eat" or "drink" on this night when the sacrament of Communion was first celebrated.

However, I was challenged this evening, and in the end, had to lay my anger and sadness down before our Lord, and just pray for peace. I was reflecting on the humility of Christ, washing each disciple's foot....the proud Peter, the doubting Thomas....and eventually, the traitor Judas. It hit me that if Jesus were here right now, he would wash Terri's feet with so much love and tenderness....but he would show the SAME love as he washed the feet of Michael Schiavo or Judge Greer.....or me. He died for each one of us, and His love is unconditional. Lord, I pray that someday I may be able to love like that....TRULY love like that. Not just my children--for whom it is easy---but for those that I harbor anger and resentments toward as well.

My God, My God...why have you forsaken them?

2005-03-23T23:12:00.000-05:00

I never knew just how hard this week would hit me....the events unfolding as Terri lives through her own passion week have permeated my being. I just haven't had the energy to write or post anything....maybe next week. It seems that the rulings today are just the beginning of a whole new level to this culture of death.....first ROE v. WADE paved the way to abortion on demand, and now Terri's imminent death will pave the way to euthanasia on demand.....maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Once you start down a steep hill, it's hard to put on the brakes......God, oh, God, have mercy on this nation. Please continue to pray for this family....may the intercessions of our mother Mary bring strength and peace to Mrs. Schindler, who is feeling her own heart pierced with a sword this week.

Hope still alive for Terri

2005-03-21T03:57:00.000-05:00

For once, the feline alarm clock was not unwelcome....I knew that there might be news on the computer by 3:00am, and was not disappointed. Thank you, God, for touching the hearts of so many who have rallied to keep this woman alive.....continue to pray for the same touch on the hearts of judges and other medical personnel right now.......and please give Terri the strength to hold on.

Thank you, St. Joseph, for this man...

2005-03-19T22:29:00.000-05:00

I can't let the day end without giving thanks for this wonderful man who I am blessed to call "husband"....

Thank you, St. Joseph...our first model of what a Christian provider should be,
for this man who so quietly reflects the love and commitment that you gave
to Mary and your foster child, our Lord...

Thank you for his integrity, his intelligence, his humor, and above all, for his
faith. His commitment to me and our children is never wavering, and he
lives out his vocation of provider and head of our home with such devotion...

His motto has been consistently, "our family comes first".....because it is a
little domestic church....as Christ loved His church, I am loved by him...and
it was his love that led me ultimately to Rome....to embrace the saints and
Mary, our Holy Father, and the most blessed Eucharist as my own....he has
given me no greater gift in all our years of marriage...

....and I don't tell him nearly enough just how blessed I feel to be his wife.

A heavy heart...

2005-03-19T21:56:00.000-05:00

I couldn't even bring myself to post yesterday....my heart was so heavy with sadness...first with Judge Greer thumbing his nose at our congress (for which I hope he is called for!!) and removing Terry's feeding tube, and secondly to hear about poor Jessica's confirmed death by a sex offender. What a sad, sad world we live in. I remembered reading something in a book by Karen Santorum called "Letters to Gabriel"....a journal kept throughout her pregnancy and birth to a child who would die just hours later....and although I was going to just use the quote that she referred to, I decided to quote a paragraph that she herself wrote about society who doesn't care about its weakest members....if you substitute the image of Terry or the word "person" whenever Gabriel is mentioned, it could have been written about today....

"But I have come to believe that we lose so much when we start to be selective with our acceptance and our love, both as individuals and as a society. Children are always a burden in one way or another. What happens when we start to believe that we can choose whether or not to accept the particular burdens a child brings into our lives? What happens when testing can detect if a child will develop diabetes.....or another debilitating or life-threatening disease? It worries me greatly to think that certain children could be routinely classified as too burdensome to live. Never for a moment did we think of you as a burden, Gabriel. You were our child. This has been your gift to us--you have made us understand even more deeply how important it is to accept and cherish all life, because we can lose it so swiftly. And life is always a gift...it isnever ours to control, manipulate, or extinguish. I can't help but think of the words of Karl Barth, the Swiss theologian who wrote so beautifully about the need to respect all life, and what our attitudes toward vulnerable life say about us:" (Karen Santorum then goes on to quote Karl Barth with a paragraph that has stayed with me throughout my life...)

"No community whether family, village or state is really strong if it will not carry its very weakest members. They belong to it no less than the strong, and the quiet work of their maintenance and care, which might seem useless on a superficial view, is perhaps more effective than common labor, culture or historical conflict in knitting it closely and securely together. On the other hand, a community which regards and treats its weak members as a hindrance, and even proceeds to their extermination, is on the verge of collapse. (Karl Barth)"

I can only pray....I pray for Terry to have the strength to survive, I pray for her parents, the congress, and all others who are fighting so hard to keep her alive, and I pray--because they need it most--for Michael and those on the other side....I pray for the parents of little Jessica, that they be filled with peace as they say goodbye to their precious little girl....and I pray for this nation, which on days like this feels more like the Roman Empire shortly before it's fall than the great and freedom loving United States. Dear God, have mercy on us all.

NARAL held a contest....sex-ed HAIKUS????

2005-03-16T05:33:00.000-05:00

I kid you not...saw it posted on CornerNational Review, and linked to their site....scary stuff. In response, I submit the first of probably several....feel free to add to the list.

Safe within your womb
I am wonderfully made
By a loving God.

Preparing for H.O.L.Y. WEEK

2005-03-15T11:12:00.000-05:00

I finally have a few minutes to share about my evening retreat last week...the idea being to help prepare us to have a Holy Week that is Holistic, Open to
God's will, Liberating from whatever sins imprison us, and one that Yearns to embrace the crucified Christ fully so that we may rejoice more abundantly on Easter morning. The challenge given to each of us was to spend an hour in prayer on Holy Thursday, Holy Friday, and Holy Saturday meditating on the
following:
Holy Thursday -- on the words of the prayer of Consecration....
"...this is my body...this is my blood..."

Holy Friday -- any of the phrases Christ spoke while hanging on the cross...
"...Father, forgive them...they know not what they do..."
"...Why have you forsaken me?"
"...Into Thy hands I commit my spirit"
"....It is finished."

Holy Saturday -- Suggested to either meditate on "The Exalted"
(Oh, happy fault!) or on the emptiness of the bare church
and how the early disciples must have felt

While he was speaking I was already coming up with excuses as to why an hour was impossible....and yet he said, "there is NO excuse not to be able to do this"....with humility I had to admit that he is right. And so I will make this commitment on these three holiest of days to meditate on the passion in a
more focussed and intimate way, so as to have the Glorias of Easter morning
ring more joyfully.....I invite anyone out there to join me!

The 3:30 Am posts will always be on the lighter side!

2005-03-15T03:50:00.000-05:00

After seeing this go around on several blogs, here's my list:

Ten things I've done that most people haven't:

1. Served God as a Protestant missionary for two years.
2. Converted to Catholicism shortly thereafter.
3. First met my husband face-to-face at an airport after corresponding
several months, believing that I was about to meet the man I'd marry
someday, while praying I'd be able to recognize him from his photo.
4. Spotted a Guam license plate while travelling down the west side of the
Hudson River.
5. Gave birth to two daughters with the same birthdate...exactly five years
and 23 minutes apart.
6. Been a guest speaker to share my conversion story at several retreats.
7. While working as a customer service employee at a local supermarket in
high school, I used the "no ID...no check cashed" rule to refuse to cash a
check of Caroline Kennedy's, who was going to prep school in town.
8. Spent four months working as a store detective detaining shoplifters.
9. Marched in the Bicentennial Parade of our nation in Concord MA in a
fife and drum corps in 1976 (grew up in Concord).
10. Played the role of "Mrs. Peterson" in a local community theater production
of "Bye Bye, Birdie"

Another year older...

2005-03-11T08:54:00.000-05:00

Just a quick thank you to all the calls and cards I got yesterday to celebrate the 46th year of being....and I praise God that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made".....special thanks for a phone call from Maine, and to my family for a simple and wonderful celebration...and to the undying love and faithfulness of one Trousered Ape...it is an honor to be your "Human Bride"!

Motherhood as a vocation

2005-03-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

Feeling better as I got a pretty good night's sleep...and on the orders of my physical therapist, I get to sleep in my own bed tonight....yaaayyy! (Of course, that might be short lived if the room still decides to spin....) I was catching up on a few favorite blogs and came across a comment that I just loved....posted by Pansy at Two Sleepy Mommies in response to comments by Greg Popcak:

...motherhood is a work of service. It is the result of love and it is God's work. This is not to deny how hard it is, but the flip side is it brings much joy as well. There are very few things in this world if at all that are worth anything that do not have pain attached. Look at Jesus on the Cross. Labor and birth. Night and day. Again, this is not a solution always, but perspective helps. When you have a better sense of purpose about motherhood being a part of the bigger picture, rather than just simply something you decided to try out, these issues may seem like more of a struggle that you need to work through rather than a hopeless pit of bad choices and despair.

As someone who lived my early adults VOWING not be like my mom, I must say that it was God's grace and finally seeing motherhood as a VOCATION that brought me full circle. For someone to say that I'm like my mom is now such a compliment...my mom was a unique SAHM in that she raised her kids AND kept her house clean!! (Granted, we were at school all day, so as a homeschool SAHM I use that as my feeble excuse!). My oldest daughter was in daycare when I worked at the parish office years back, and while she seems to have survived the ordeal, I know that my choice to finally come home full time was a choice that involved sacrifices of things I liked--let's face it, it's fun to go out into the world and earn money and talk to adults all day--to yielding my will to God's. There were days when watching Barney for the ump-teenth time or reading "Goodnight Moon" 93 times in a row were the highlights of the day...and I won't go into the dishes, laundry, and lack of sleep. Now that the girls are older and homeschooling, there are still days of constant struggle....fighting over the computer, telling me the "two movies a day" rule is not one they like, or just non-compliance with getting up and getting the day started...there are those days when I can only pray, "God, give me grace..." I've heard moms saying that they LOVE the moment that the school bus drives away, because they have the whole day to themselves....and I think, "gee...that would be nice...." But it's short lived. Homeschooling is the hardest choice I ever made, but the struggles and pain of mothering is the cross that I carry, and I carry it with love--just as Jesus did His cross. There are many that don't value motherhood as a vocation...and homeschool moms even less so...but I know that at the end of the day I can tell God that I did my best to further His kingdom.....and His opinion is the one I care about the most. Thanks, Pansy, for giving my brain a chance to think on adult levels....now it's time to go back to the world of animal habitats and dividing fractions....

MUCH LATER... As my dear ape husband has not yet shown me how to link, I saved this morning's post as a draft, so they'll come together in this one. I just returned from an evening of recollection at a local retreat house. I went as an observer--an assignment for school to observe a ministry that interests us--but came away with so much....as I always do on any type of retreat (hence, the interest!). One gem I found that totally relates to this morning's post was a book in the retreat bookshop called MOTHERING:BECOMING THE HEART OF THE HOME by Rosalie McPhee. The inside cover has a quote from our Holy Father that says: "Motherhood is a woman's vocation. It is an eternal vocation, and it is also a contemporary vocation...We must do everything in order that children, the family and society may see her in that dignity that Christ saw."....Amen. More on my retreat reflections tomorrow.

Matha, Martha

2005-03-09T03:34:00.000-05:00

It's now 3:30am...after an hour and a half of total insomnia, the dizzy and now sleep-deprived brain gets a bit punchy....

MARTHA, MARTHA
(sung to the tune of Reuben & Rachel)

Martha, Martha, your heart's full of
far too much anxiety
Why can't you be more like Mary
and just come and sit with me...

(sing quietly...it IS 3:30am!!)

"Come to me, you who labor and heavy
burdened...and I will give you rest..."
--Matthew 11:28

A quiet Tuesday...

2005-03-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those homeschool days when both girls WANTED to do work, and had no desire to argue with each other or the teacher....a dream day! Currently my youngest is playing doctor to an alligator puppet stuck on her father's foot....his temperature is 1.3, by the way....can you tell we haven't gotten to that method of measurement yet?!! The alligator is asking for celery flavored ice cream...meanwhile, she is finally eating her vanilla. My oldest just finished watching "Persuasion"--another Jane Austen movie--and will no doubt be begging for the computer soon to do more work on her second story...

We're doing a "fun" unit study this week on animal habitats and world geography...they like it partly because they can watch videos for school, and partly because it's a topic they both love. Next week we do Ellis Island and immigration, and then we'll finish out the US history year by trying to incorporate this century's key points into a unit on entertainment and fashion of the century. NEXT year we'll start with alot of curriculum resources from Catholic Heritage Curriculum(I'm 90% sold on all the research I've done so far)...I'm pretty burnt out doing everything on my own. I've been working on the girls' portfolios the past week or so, which has been good for me. About this time of year I start with the nagging "what have I missed?....am I REALLY doing this right?" doubt about my ability to give them what they need. Putting their portfolios together has been a good therapy session for ME to see just how much they really have done over the year. I also find it incredibly relaxing as I do alot of scrapbooking for their pages...a good way to turn off the brain for awhile.

Speaking of therapy, tomorrow I go for vestibular rehab for my vertigo. I must admit that I'm nervous about it. Some say that it makes the vertigo WORSE before it gets better (although I'm encouraged to know that 80% of those who undergo the therapy have the vertigo completely eliminated from their lives)...right now it's not so bad that it keeps me from living, although I'm quite annoyed by not being able to sleep lying down. I am LONGING for my flannel pillowcase and sheets and nice quilt to curl up under while stretching my legs out ALL the way....ahh, the simple joys of life!

Winter has returned with yet another wave of COLD windy weather....I had both my weekly TOPS meeting and my monthly homeschool "mom's night out" cancelled for tonight. I went back to TOPS (a weight loss group called Take Off Pounds Sensibly--a cheaper version of WW) in January and am down 16 pounds so far...so I was very disappointed to have two weeks in a row cancelled due to weather. And needless to say, the "mom's night out" is ALWAYS a nice break, just to talk to other homeschool moms in the area and know that I'm not alone in my quirks and anxieties. Instead, I make a nice healthy salad for dinner, ate with my husband, and spent a warm cozy evening at home. Not a bad trade-off! I'd best be getting the alligator moving...it's his turn to put the girls to bed!

Sunday's Speculations...

2005-03-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

The girls are watching Jane Austen's "Mansfield Park", so I have a few minutes before heading off to church. (It's so nice to have daughters that actually ASK to watch Jane Austen!). My husband actually had to head in to the office this morning, so I spent the morning downloading various composer photos. On Mondays I teach two music history/appreciation classes at our homeschool coop, and they are working on a joint class project for our upcoming art/science/history fair. All year their homework has been to compile various historical events around the lives of the composers we've studied, and now we have to mount them all in order on a big display board. I think the end result will look pretty nice, and they'll all have some great timelines to add to their individual portfolios for the end of the year. I've just had a blast teaching these classes....as someone who started on piano at age 6, I've always loved the classics, and to excite our young ones about classical music is so rewarding. We've used "The Classical Kids" curriculum by Susan Hammond (www.childrensgroup.com), and I've supplemented with lots of video and audio clips....everything from animal videos to Bugs Bunny cartoons (our family favorite has to be Elmer Fudd singing Wagner's "Kill the Wabbit, Kill the Wabbit, Kill the Wab-bit!") to Beethoven's 9th in Sister Act II. The kids have all learned so much and had a ball doing so. I am hoping to be able to offer it again next year, although the coop has always asked about a possibility of a chorus group. Last weekend I organized a field trip to the world premiere stage production of one of the books we used--"Mr. Bach Comes to Town"--performed by the Bach Choir and Touchstone Theater of Bethlehem....it was incredible to see the curriculum come to life! They are scheduled to return next year in January, and I know that I will go back...I do wish we could afford more trips to the theater. We do have one more trip scheduled to a children's concert at the Allentown Symphony in April. I'm grateful that both girls seem to share our love for the classics...although my oldest has a definite preference for country! (I myself love so many genres I'd have a hard time choosing just a few!) My youngest is even now sitting on the couch reading a "Baby Blues" cartoon book and singing her own little "hymn"....she sings throughout the day, and I often hear some wonderful hymns being created. If she can someday learn to yield her will to God's, she'll make a wonderful nun...or do great things in whatever occupation she chooses! In the meantime, her will is a guarantee to keep me on my knees--often!

Dizzy Discernment

2005-03-05T21:45:00.000-05:00

Well, today marks the "I think I may have found it" day in terms of homeschool curriculum for next year. For the past couple of months I've been praying and trying to discern what to do for next year, and I'm seriously leaning toward trying Catholic Heritage Curriculum. I've looked at many different full service schools, but after two years of a pretty relaxed approach I think we'd find them all too constricting. I've done mostly unit studies that I've created on my own, and I'm feeling pretty burnt out....but moreso, I feel God calling me to use a more Catholic approach. The only really big question yet is a math curriculum for my 7th grader who has just had enough of Saxon....I know they are one of the best, but spending almost every day in tears tells me that it's time for something else. Still early on in the discernment stage there...and I know that God works well on these human deadlines of mine!

Today my husband officially announced my blog existence on his own blog...so I guess I'll be "re-born" with a new name. Most of the links that I will eventually have (I have a list started...that's progress!) on my blogroll are there because of his own links...either firsthand or as a link from one of them. I also expect that I'll open myself up to comments much quicker...I'm the extrovert, can you tell?

The Book Game

2005-03-01T22:06:00.000-05:00

The Book Game
Here are the rules:(Stolen from Alicia who stole them from Nikkianna)
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest

Egads!! Of COURSE the book closest to the computer is an encyclopedia...and what a nice surprise to see that it's not the one I EXPECTED for my daughter's current assignment, but another topic entirely with a bookmark on the State of Maine....I love those moments when you realize that they really DO love learning! At any rate....here is the exciting entry:

"Thus, the meter (m), the basic measurement of length in physics, is now defined as the length of the path traveled by light in a vacuum during a time interval of 1/299,792,458 of a second. The velocity of light in air varies slightly with color, averaging about 3 percent less than in vacuum; the speed in water is about 25 percent less, and in glass, 33 percent less. Light has an important effect on many chemicals."

I thought it interesting for two reasons: 1) This year I was a monitor in my daughters homeschool coop physics class, so this actually made some SENSE to me as I read--which wouldn't have been the case before homeschooling, and
2) I'm currently discerning about curriculum for next year...and often ask God for that "neon sign" versus the flickering candle.

After many little blog games/quizzes that my husband has referred me to, it'll be nice to see what HE comes up with on this one....I'll have to move the encyclopedia!

How it came to be...

2005-03-01T19:34:00.000-05:00

After many months of reading my husband's blog, and hearing him say that I'd be better at this than him, I decided that I'd take his advice and enter the world of blogging myself. However, I needed to wait for the right "name"....today it finally came to me. As a Catholic disciple of Jesus, I live my life trying to follow God's will as much as possible....knowing that the learning will never stop.

On January 1 of this year, I also woke up with vertigo, which has been hanging around for two months....not a severe case, mind you--I'm capable of living a normal life as long as I don't spin, bend to the right, look up, lay on my right side, or lean forward too fast. I've seen a specialist and will begin vestibular rehab exercises next week....however, even if the vertigo disappears, I think I will retain some of the "dizzy" moments regardless. I'm a homeschool mom of two, and some days they DO make my head spin!

For an initial post....this will do!